Am I a Good Example?


So Emma and I have had an interesting week. She is an awesome kid but some times she definitely gives me a run for my money. I noticed lately the thing that I am saying to her the most is “you need to be thankful for what you have” and today I had the Holy Spirit hit me with a soul crusher. Let me explain.

We have been having to do some outdoor renovations on our new house and it has been a project that is taking longer than expected. Now we have to paint the whole house and will eventually have to reside the house. Only I have so many projects that would cost half as much as the outdoor projects are costing inside the house and I would get to see them everyday. I have also been pushing my husband to start planning for these projects but he is so not in the remolding mood after all these outdoor projects. So here is where the sting from the Holy Spirit came in. After I told my daughter she had to be thankful for something I made for lunch and the Holy Spirit asked me if I was thankful for what I have been given?

Talk about ouch. So am I good example for my daughter? Not recently. I have been looking at things that I want to see changed instead of being thankful for the things that been done to make the house better from the outside. Even though I want the things changed on the inside, I will have to stay patient. They will get done but, for now, it is the outside of the house that will be made better and I have to be thankful for that.

Little Yellow Balloon


A couple weeks ago, Emma had her first real tragedy. It happened after her first dental cleaning and it will change her life forever. She learned what it feels like to feel loss which is a normal thing for adults to feel on a regular basis but there was always that first loss that starts it all.What was so terrible that Emma didn’t know how to react. Let me explain.

The assistant gave Emma a little yellow balloon because she was such a good girl. Emma couldn’t have been more excited to have the little balloon. The assistant wanted to put it on Emma’s wrist, but she didn’t want to wear it, and I tried to carry it for her, but she wouldn’t let me. I knew as a parent was going to happen if she decided to carry it out on her own since she didn’t understand what would happen if she let the balloon go, but, she was not about to let anyone tell her how to carry it, so we left. We got about half way to the car (with me continuing to to tell her that I needed to carry it or she would lose it) and sure enough she let it go. You want to talk about crocodile tears. I have never heard her cry from the every bottom of her soul. I knew that she was truly in distress as she yelled “My balloon!” as it floated away.

Now I wanted to ease her pain by going in a asking for another balloon but I had to make the decision to let her deal with what the loss felt like or not. It was painful, but I decided to help her deal with the loss and not give her another balloon. One reason was because I knew she would just lose the second balloon too. So I just her took up in my arms and told her how sorry I was that her balloon got away. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried and processed what happened for around ten minutes, but I could see the reality setting in on what loss is.

She started going through the steps just like we do. She was shocked when her balloon went up and didn’t come down, she then went into denial that her balloon was gone by calling out for it like a pet to come back, then when I wouldn’t go and get another balloon she turned toward anger and it’s probably a good thing she doesn’t have an adult vocabulary yet, but, as we left the office and made our way home, she calmed down and accepted that her balloon was gone. I was impressed at how well my two year old went through the steps of grief. I know many adults who take a lot longer to go through it on the littlest things. But I do have to say it was just as painful for me to go through it with her.

I just wanted to take the pain away but I knew that wasn’t the best for her in the long run. Then a light bulb came on in my head – that’s why God lets us go through tough times too. It isn’t because He is mad necessarily (even though a consequence is different than a trial keep in mind), but, rather, He knows that it for our greater good that He doesn’t deliver us from all our trials. If He acted like how I wanted to act by giving Emma another balloon then she (we) wouldn’t be able to learn what she (we) needed to in that moment. Now, next time, I am sure she will do better with a balloon. She might still lose it, but I betcha she will hang onto it a little bit better next time. And that is how we are.

As humans we can be pretty slow like toddlers when it comes to correction and learning from our mistakes. It might take us a few time of making the same mistake but eventually we learn to not let go of the balloon. Does that make sense? So, needless to say, the yellow balloon is a sad day in the day of Emma , but it’s a lesson that we can all benefit from.

Potholes of Courage Release Date


Hello everyone! If you have been wondering what is going to happen to Nora Clark next, then I have some good news for you! I am so excited to announce that the second book in the Potholes Series is going to be released next Friday 9/23!!!! The Kindle edition will be ready for preorder as of this weekend if you want to get in line faster. I am so excited and I have been working with a great editor so that this book is ready and chomping at the bit for you to dive into it.


If you would like a preview on the almost finished manuscript, here is a Book Preview I put out some time ago. I hope you enjoy it! Also look out for more news as the release date gets closer!


A Sweet Moment Sewing


I know it has been a few days since my last post, but I have a really cute one to share with you today. I have been finally able to get my sewing machine out since we moved into our new house and I have been having a lot of fun. One of the things I have been also trying to do is make my own patterns which I am not sure is going well but I will keep trying.

One of the cute things that I have made recently is something that I got to include Emma in on it. I drew out a pattern for a little horse toy and thought I would give it a try. Emma was still taking her nap when I got started, but, when she saw I was sewing, she wanted to give a hand. I then told her I was making something for her and her eyes lit right up and she really wanted to help even more.

I sewed the pieces together and turned it right side out. She then wanted to help me stuff the little horse and she was such a great help. I would cut up the strips and she would hand them to me while sitting on my lap. It was such a great moment between the two of us. I felt so connected to her as a mother and a friend and she was so excited that I was making something just for her. Most of the time it’s for my Etsy Shop and I haven’t really made anything for her.

It was such a sweet time with her. With her being two, sometimes it feels like all I do is correction but this was a moment were we got to be together without any expectations or correction needed. She just sat on my lap and helped me make her horse.


I know it doesn’t sound like much but for a mom who wonders if she is doing anything right with this parenting thing, it was a confidence boost. I know that she will turn into a wonderful little girl and later a beautiful woman. I love her more than anything.

Finished project! It has some things that need to be changed but Emma loves it so that’s all that matters to me🙂


A New Food Adventure


Imagine looking in your fridge and you have nothing to make for dinner? Then you look at the credit cards and they are too high and you need to pay them off. So you look at your bank account and it doesn’t look much better, actually it looks worse. Does this sound like your story? No shame if it does. It doesn’t mean you are a low life or and bad person, it just means that life as been a little meaner than you were prepared for. That’s where places like food closets and banks come in handy so that we can feed our families.

Well something like this sort of happened recently. It’s not like we can’t buy food so for all my family reading, please don’t think that. It’s just that we really want to pay off our credit cards before the end of the year and being a one income family you have to be creative. I am on so many levels but my pantry is one area that hasn’t recovered from us having to leave everything behind in our last house. I was actually really proud of it since it was to the point that I had all the staples to last for an entire week or even longer on hand. Now I am only able to buy a week’s worth of food at a time and when shopping day is here the fridge looks a little bit more bare than I would like.

So yesterday I went to a food closet for the first time and it was very humbling. I grew up thinking that food closets and banks were only for poor people who didn’t have any thing otherwise. Well at the moment since we have set a goal and I would like to restock the tings I have lost that’s me. But it wasn’t like I expected.

I expected to see a bunch of people sneering their noses at me as I pull up in my 2006 Matrix (our only car) in my gym clothes with a gym badge hanging off my key ring. Unfortunately some did look at me that way since why would someone like me need to come to a place like this? Didn’t my husband make enough to buy food if I can have luxuries like this? What they don’t know is that we have lost everything, the last date my husband and I went on was get our infertility tests done last week, we only have one car because our roof needs to be replaced, our normally unused credit cards are carrying balances and we still have to pay off many other people who graciously helped us out during our time of need. You add that all up with the mortgage and the bills and yes I do belong in a place like this because everyone has their own story of why they are there.

Now I pray I don’t keep having to go for long since there people who have it way worse than me. At least my husband has a job and many of them don’t. So this isn’t a long term plan. Actually I probably won’t even go every week since what we were provided weren’t things that we even use. It’s just until we can get back on our feet and our credit cards paid off.

We are adults being responsible and if anyone thinks there’s a problem with that then maybe you should have a heart check before you are humbled to this level. Trust me I am being very humbled right now because I was the one who was on there other side wondering why a middle class (if there is such a thing any more in California) woman with a toddler is going to a food closet. It’s because we are all human and some times we all need to be creative sometimes.

When Your Child Wants a Baby


Emma did the cutest thing today. She has this baby doll that she loves named Bailey. She is originally Emma’s potty doll but she has turned into her best friend. Bailey tends to go every where with us. But today she did something that made me smile and my heart ache.

We were sitting down for lunch and she insisted that Bailey join us. I remember doing that as a child with my little Simba so I told her that’s fine and we began to eat. I noticed that Emma was putting some of her Mac and Cheese off to the side and she was mumbling something to Bailey. I listened closer and she was saying, “There Baywee. It’s nummy. mmmm… dewishous.” (bad grammar to match Emma’s pronunciation.)

That’s what made me smile and a little sad at the same time. She was treating her doll as if she was real. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I have caught her her rocking Bailey to sleep and taking her potty on the big girl potty. She is such a good little mommy. But I am worried it is because she wants a sibling. She stares at sisters whenever we go to the store and she is drawn to movies and shows that emphasis the sister bond.

What if I can’t give her one? Will she feel left out? Will her life be less fulfilled than that of her friends with siblings? I know the answer to everyone of those questions but the truth it whether or not I will listen to it or the lie. That is the important part.

When your child wants a sibling I know it can be heart breaking when you have tried and God has not blessed. I haven’t had her ask directly yet “Mommy, why don’t I have siblings like my friend ___?” And I am not looking forward to it.

I had a break down a couple weeks ago thinking about this very thing. I texted my sister telling her that I don’t know how I am going to make God look good in all of this to Emma when she can start asking those kinds of questions. My only thought was “Well honey, God only wanted to give you for us to raise. He didn’t see fit to give you a sibling”. Pretty horrible right? But this is what my wiser (younger) sister replied with, “No you tell her that I wasn’t supposed to have kids and God was so gracious and gave us you! Can you believe that? Isn’t He good? Then He told me to be happy where I was and mommy loved being your mommy so much that I was ok with just having you”.

Pretty crazy right? And did I mention my sister is only 22 years old? Where did she get to be so much wiser than me in this growing up adventure? So when your child starts to ask for another baby and it isn’t possible, try to remember that God has already given you a very special gift already. I can’t lose sight of that as I am getting closer to finding out if I will be able to give my daughter and brother or sister or if I will have to have this serious sit down talk with her in the future.

If there is anything you would like to add, feel free to leave it in the comments! Have a blessed day!

How You Know You have a Good Man


Now I know most women would say that they have a pretty good husband, but I know that I don’t. I have an awesome husband. He is the most wonderful man I could have ever been blessed with. Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t always see it. Actually I tend to take him for granted a lot. But here are some things that I try to keep in mind to know that I have a great husband and to remind you when you are in the middle of a fight with your man that he is still a good man too.

1. He goes to work every day without compliant

If your man goes to work everyday to bring home a paycheck, then you need to thank him. There are a lot of women out there who their husbands don’t even do this much. My husband has a great job but he has had to work very hard to get it and I am proud of him for that. He gets up, gets ready, and gets out the door to face another day of dead lines and stuff that I don’t have to deal with. He takes the brunt so that I get to be a stay at home mom with our little girl.

Not saying that if you still have to work that he is any less of a man. Some times it is just the fact that it is extremely hard to be a one income family now a days. Most places requires both spouses to work to provide for the family but that is where you can praise your husband even more. He still goes to work and helps pay the bills. He could just be sitting at home doing nothing but he is out working just as hard as you. A working man of any job is an amazing man.

2. If you have kids he spends time with them

After my husband comes home from work, all he wants to do is veg out on his phone. He has worked all day and put up with who knows what, I get it, but he has a daughter now to think about who hasn’t seen her daddy all day. Some times he absolutely shines in this area and plays with her without thinking and other times he slips a little. But those slips don’t out number the shining times. Like this one:


That is right, my husband is wearing a blue jewel necklace playing Barbies with our daughter. I would say that is a pretty awesome man. Does your husband come home and play with your kids? Does he spend the time to make that relationship connection with them? If he does even in the slightest you have a great man.

3. He does work around the house

We are new home owners and that means that there is always work to do. My husband just planted the last of our tress this weekend and it was a good size job. Even though I would have preferred it done weeks ago, he still got it done. I could have moaned a groaned but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. So I backed off and now all our trees are happy in the ground and I have a happy husband.

Your husband can see what needs to be done. The question is that are you giving him room to put it higher on his to do list? Read any book on men and they will say that their priorities are different from ours. It is just how it goes. The thing is our reaction. If we explain (not nag, yell, or demand) why it is important to us for something to get done, I think you might be surprised at how fast it is actually accomplished.


This is my husband coming home from work at going right out to do the hole for the last tree. I told him how important it was for me to have those trees in the ground and he agreed to get right on it. Yes, he didn’t even change. Of course he had a little helper who thought that it was rather entertaining seeing the hole being dug.

4.He loves me unconditionally

Do you feel loved? I know sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t by my husband. This whole infertility thing has really taken us through a loop and we are finding out a lot about ourselves as individuals and as a couple. I have learned that I have the biggest mood swings when it comes to having another baby and he has no idea what to do about them. And I have noticed that he is learning that he might not want to go through all the steps to have more children for the sake of our relationship. So where does that put us? We don’t know, but I know that at the end of the day my husband loves me without compare. Even if we just had a big fight and we don’t even want to look at each other, I know he loves me and I love him.

This is where it comes to going back to the beginning. Why did you guys end up together? What attracted you to each other? Have you just simple let that spark that was there all those years ago become dim? Being such a young married couple we are learning that. We are coming up on five years married which might not sound like many years to some people but we were also 20 and 21 when we tied the knot. We are very familiar with things happening that try to snuff out the spark between two people.

One thing is that life wants to kill the romance that had you once falling over heels for each other. My husband and I decided to wait but there was still a spark there. A desire to be together and, as out wedding neared, we were getting more and more excited and that spark began to become a wild fire. Then my husband had a terrible car accident which took years to heal. All that flame of waiting could have snuffed out very easily. Here he and I had waited to be together and now his back was so injured that it took almost a year for us to learn how to enjoy our intimate moments before he was back to “normal”. It would take another year for him to be fully healed. You want to talk about a mood killer? I can give you many examples.

Then our daughter was born two years after we were married. That would be the biggest mood killer of all. We had to sleep in separate rooms like most couples do to get any sleep during that first year of her life while she was up every two hours like a normal infant. But we still managed to keep the spark lit. It was maybe an ember at times but it was still there.

That isn’t the last of the story but I won’t go into it. The point is that we worked to keep our spark lit. There is more ways than one to have romance alive and show your husband that you are still madly in love with him. Are you even doing the basics? Are you taking every advantage to show him that you love him unconditionally? Believe it or not washing the dishes can be a pretty steamy event if you use your imagination.

4. You have to show him you think he is worth it

Finally, the greatest area for things to get better is with you. Where is your heart? You want to point fingers and blame him for all your problems right? That would be easy. Who wants to work on themselves when your partner is the problem? Well I am sorry to tell you but really the number one way to know if you have a good man is you. How do you treat him when he comes home? How do you treat him after a fight?

Your husband will only feel as empowered as you make him. If you don’t go that extra step to show him respect in every area then he will give up and question whether it is really worth it. He loves you but you have to prove you love him too. So if you answered yes to all or only a couple of things then you have a good man. I didn’t say you had a perfect one. We all have issues and so do our husbands. My biggest thing with my husband is his phone. It feels whenever I turn my back he is on it. Honestly I can’t change his time and usage but I can change my reaction and I can change my habits.

I have told him how I feel about his phone but if he sees me on mine all the time too then there is no reason to change. Before anything can change I have to change so that I can bring out the best in my husband.

So do I have a good man? Yes I do. Do you?