I can just live me, myself and I. That’s what I thought growing up. But I couldn’t be more wrong. We need community to survive. I mean look at what happened to Tom Hanks on Cast Away! You can’t live forever on a deserted island for your whole life.
I never thought much about it but now I can see the importance of community and friendships on a daily basis. I just had coffee with a sweet friend of mine on day and a crochet hang out with another and it was so awesome! If I just hid in my house and became a hermit, I don’t even want to think about what an unhappy person I would be.
Now these relationships take work. I have a friend who moved across the country and sadly I don’t cultivate that relationship as much as a should since she isn’t local any more. But that doesn’t mean that having friends local will make the relationships blossom any more. You need to take time out for people and get to know them. Show them that they matter to you. Because at the end of our road, we want people to come to our funeral right?
OK, maybe that isn’t the only reason to have friends, but think about it. Wouldn’t that be depressing if no one came to your funeral because you had not taken the time to invest in anyone but yourself? Because having a group of friends around you will make you better (as long as they are the right friends as mentioned in my blog posts Love Your Body Part 6 and Love Your Body Part 7 ).
So go create your own community and enjoy those special people in your life 🙂
People have said that to say “I’m sorry” is the biggest act to show how humble you really are. As a kid, I thought they were crazy but then I got married. Now I have only been married for four years to this date but I have already seen how the lack of saying “I’m sorry” can very quickly destroy a marriage.
I have a very “let’s fix right now” attitude and my husband is a “lets see how this rolls” kind of personality. Both are good in their own ways until we get in an argument. Then he shuts down and I don’t shut up. It turns into an ugly mess and we end up going in separate rooms where he is probably thinking I have gone insane and I am thinking that he is the worst husband ever. None of those things are true by the way, but have you ever felt that? They are both lies, actually anything in an argument said in anger is a lie, to get us off track with God and to have Satan get into our heads.
My husband and I one time had this fight where I thought that we might not work out in the long run because it seemed our goals were going in two completely different directions. I thought he was being lazy with life and I wanted to have more out of life. Turns out that wasn’t the case but it still didn’t stop me from mouthing off and not saying some nice things. MY husband was hurt and I was in no mood to apologize because I was in the right after all. If he wanted to “I’m sorry” it would have to come out his mouth.
Well it didn’t because he wasn’t the one who had to say it. If I have been rational, we could have just talked about my feelings of being taken advantage of and so on and the whole argument could have been by passed. He had no idea that was feeling the way I was and he would have been better if he had only known.
So guess what I had to do though before I could find that out? Yup, I had to swallow my pride and go say “I’m sorry”. I didn’t want to but God pricked my heart once I calmed down and point out how I was in the wrong. I needed to make the first step to making things right, not my husband. And when I humbled myself and said the magic words, the tension and anger melted away. So don’t give satan the satisfaction of getting in your head. Because it won’t end up in a good place for anyone.
Now this just doesn’t go for women, but also you men too. My husband has gone off on me for something that had happened at work and he had to be the one to apologize. And sometimes, it is the man who needs to be humbled and brought before God. No one is perfect and that includes men and husbands. Because you guys are the ones that Satan will want to get his foothold in the most. He know that if he can get a wedge between two people (especially a man a wife) then he knows that he can create a whole lot of trouble. He wants to have as much time as possible between apologies because that is where he can have fun.
But if too much times goes by where neither party is willing to say it, then that is where problems start. There’s a void that starts to open and it is not a good thing. Too much void means there will be opportunities for both sides to make bad decisions. I know that I have been presented a few and my husband even more when we are fighting. It is a scary thing to think of would happen to our marriage if one of us slips up just once. I don’t even want to think about it. So I have to remind myself daily to keep up the fight against the right enemy and that is not my husband. So do the easy thing and say “I’m sorry” and see the difference it makes in your life 🙂
Here is the Every Dollar video. I would suggest you watch both and choose the one you think will fit you best. My husband and I use Every Dollar but it might not have the bells and whistles that might suit other people. Enjoy!
Wanted to take a stab and doing a “how to” video. Seems like they are getting more popular so I thought I would give it a try. Have something in mind that you mind want a review on or more info about? Just comment below and I will take a look at it 🙂
I had a really heart changing experience happen to me today at the gas station. There I was thinking how I will be so happy that someday I would get to have a different car than I already have while I pumped gas for $1.85/gallon. Mind you, in California, that is lower than the price was when I started driving. So I could honestly say that I have never paid for gas that low. Any way, that wasn’t the heart changing moment.
I was feeling so caught up in my thoughts since my husband’s job is going well and we are thinking about not trying for another baby anymore (that is another post for another time) that I was beginning to think about what my life could be like when Emma would be eighteen and looking to move out on her own. That was when the heart change moment hit.
In my day dreams, I was driving a newer car, my husband and I would be able to get ready for early retirement since we would have been able to save more with only having one child, we would be traveling, and living in our dream house. Sounds pretty good right? That’s when I saw him.
There, digging in the trash for a plastic bottle or aluminum can, was a homeless man literally doing his hard day’s work. My first instinct was just to ignore him and continue on my way. He wasn’t my responsibility any way. I mean I am not for socialism (again another post for another time) so I didn’t think that the state should take care of him. I actually thought “That’s what the church is for”. Bam!!!! It felt like a load of bricks hit me at that moment and I clearly heard God say in my heart “Yes it is and you are the church”.
Talk about a wow moment and shaming moment all at the same time. Here I am thinking that my life had a great outlook on it and it could only get better from. But it could just as easily be me digging through the trash. It could be me not knowing where my next meal was going to come from or where I was going to sleep that night. Who am I to think that it couldn’t all go wrong for me just because things are looking so good now? Because we are the church. Not that place where you attend (if you attend church) but you as a person. We are the walking, earthly hands and feet of Christ and we should be the ones who should be helping people like the man I saw.
But that’s not all. I really stood there and listened to God’s voice and decided that with my change (that I so rarely get now with buying gas) I was going to give it to him. But when I came back out, he was gone. It was like he vanished. And at that moment I knew I failed the test. I believe was there are angels all around us and we don’t even know it. I have encountered people as a little girl and knew that there was something different about them on a higher level. And I think this man was one of them because I looked for him. I went to each side of the corner looking for the man with two trash bags full of bottles and cans, but he was gone. I feel God had put that man in my path to see what I would do and I failed to be His hands and feet. There was an opportunity for me to show the love of God and was stuck in my own little world that hasn’t even happened yet.
Next time, I hope I am not so slow to act and too wrapped up in myself to notice that God might want me to help someone that is right in front of me. I just have to open my eyes and see them.
This is going to sound odd (actually most of my posts sound odd at first) but I found true inspiration for life the other day. I was sitting by my gym’s pool, reading a good book, and watched out of the corner of my eye the aqua class going on. Now what do you think of when you hear about an aqua class? Old ladies in skin tight hats doing a synchronized swim thing? Close. Mostly old ladies do aqua but I have taken a few classes and it is not as easy as it seems. Anyway, not the point. The point is that, after the class was over, I watched the women (and the one man) who took the class come out of the pool.
I was amazed at what I saw. Most of these women had to be in their late sixties and early seventies and they were still so full of life. All the experience they had acquired seemed to bring joy to them. I heard a couple ladies talk about how love used to be more personal in their day and dogging on the dating web sites we have now. Others were jabbering about politics and how things used to be so much more black and white. Now there seems to be so much more confusion and noise in the world.
Not to sound like a complete stalker, I did really enjoy listening to them. I hope I am like that when I get to be that age, Lord willing. Because I look at the stuff around me and I see only so far ahead. How is this going to turn out for good any fashion? The country is in the toilet and no one seems to care about each other any more. But these women had seen the full cycle of a lot that has gone on in their life times. They know that things may not make sense in the short term but in the long term they will work out vice versa. Somethings looked great in the short term but in the long term they have turned out to be disaster.
So these ladies made me smile and gave me the push to keep moving forward in my life. Because today might look grim but there is always tomorrow.
I remember when I was single that I wasn’t a fan of Valentine’s Day. All I wanted was to have a man (or really a boy back then) call me his Valentine. Looking back I now see how silly that was. I was so worried about not having a Valentine, I would rather sit an pine about how unhappy I was when really I wasn’t. I had a Valentine and He is still my Valentine.
Because it isn’t just singles who are sad on Valentine’s Day. There are so many women (and men) out there who are in a relationship that unfulfilling and unhappy. To them, it would be better if they were single since then they could go out a find a different Valentine. Now I hope that they don’t do that since adultery is still adultery and God looks down on that but it can’t stop anyone from thinking of doing it. And the sad part is that they have forgotten Who their Valentine really is.
Now I am super blessed to have a wonderful husband and thriving marriage, but we are still young and we have a lot to learn. Unless we stick together and work our marriage correctly, we will turn into bitter enemies and if I recall that wasn’t in my wedding vows. Marriage is work but to some people it feels like a dungeon.
So why bring this up on the most romantic day of the year? Simple. It is to point out that being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a negative but and positive and so it being in an unhappy marriage because we all have the same Valentine! Jesus Christ has given us the best Valentine ever and so often we (especially us women) forget about it and concentrate on the world. It doesn’t matter what kind of Valentine you have on earth because, if you believe in Jesus, He is your Valentine always. He gave you not red roses but His blood on the cross for your sins. He rose on the third day and now is sitting at the right hand of the Father waiting until you are with Him for eternity.
Don’t have Jesus? That is fine because He knows you already and is waiting for you to join Him faith. There’s no code or password you need to know to receive Jesus as your Savior. You just need to believe and say He is your Savior. That’s it and for now on you will always have a Valentine to celebrate with.
I am lucky because I now have three Valentine’s but I will always enjoy my first Valentine the most. He was there for me in the past, He is there for me right now and He will be there for me in the future.