So I had the afternoon from… well you know. So today the day started with Emma banging her door down. I’m so tired of her taking toys and using them as battering rams against her door. It’s annoying but I don’t know how to fix it. Then my sister dropped her dog off and it looked like the day was going to get better.
Hahaha! That was a funny joke. When we then got ready to go to the gym, things blew up again. This time she broke down in a tantrum because I said put on her shoes for the tenth time. (She totally knows what that means and she can put on her shoes all by herself.) This was followed by a two mile scream fest from home to the gym. Her face was a mess but I didn’t honestly care at that moment. It had just taken 25 minutes to get out the door and my nerves were getting frayed already. (This has happened every time we have tried to go out for the past three weeks.)
Finally all done with gym with an excellent Pilates class and I pick Emma up. She is all smiles and I am thrilled! Now the rest of the day will be great! Hahaha! She didn’t like the lunch I made and threw it across the room. I thought a nap would us both good so I put her down.
One hour later, she hitting the door (I think with her head) so I go in to see what’s wrong. Like every day this week she is naked and a huge pee spot is on her bed. Only there is a certain oder that is now present. She has also had a poop and her diaper is no where to be seen. Finally I found it in her toy chest only my next nightmare happened – poop marked diaper with no poop. Becoming very frustrated, I search her entire room for it and can’t find it.
I called my husband for support and finally found it in her play kitchen’s oven. Yay!!!!! I get it cleaned up, get a new diaper on her and then call my mom for a venting call. I was getting so mad at my situation that I knew I had call someone or I was going to cry. As I was talking with her, her prayed over me and I started to calm down. She promised that I would laugh about this someday and said that it was probably time potty train Emma no matter what now.
That last little part did not make feel good. Emma still won’t pee in the potty. She is happy to pee on the floor after sitting on the potty but not in it. So I am dreading trying it again. Maybe I am cut out for only one child. Getting such a tough one the first time around, is making me second guess trying for another. Maybe my infertility right is a blessing and not a curse… I don’t know. All I know is what happened next was the reason why people do have more children.
She can get me so fired up but then she does this and my heart melts…
She can get me so worked up at just raising a little person with her own mind, but then all she has to do is lay her head on my shoulder and all that frustration goes away. When she wakes up, we are off to AWANA and I get to have two hours to myself 🙂
But if you could pray for us as we go after the goal of getting Emma potty trained that would be appreciated. I didn’t it was going to be this hard. S]But she’s my little princess and I love her so much.
(She has marker on her face if anyone was wondering.)
I am so excited because now I have an author page on Facebook! It is www.facebook.com/GracelynAsayAuthor 🙂 Doesn’t it look great? OK, maybe it isn’t that big of deal to you but, for me, it’s a huge deal. I am finally learning some of the tricks from the pros and implementing them in my own way. This blog was a suggestion from the research I did for promoting my book the first time. Now it is my place to write about more than that. I write about my family and my Etsy Shop too.
I also have a Facebook page for my shop! It is www.facebook.com/HandiWorksOfGrace. You can go there and see all my shop updates. That way I don’t spam my personal Facebook friends.
Feel free to like both pages. It is where all my updates and announcements will be posted. So keep in touch 🙂
I had to laugh at my little girl this past weekend. We have been doing a lot of yard work getting our garden ready and grass under control and Emma has been a real help. She has gone and got me buckets and helped carry the hose around. But today was the first time she was actually able to be a country girl in the city. It was warm enough it didn’t matter if she got wet and was able to able to run around in just her boots and diaper. She was one happy toddler!
Who wouldn’t love to go back to being a kid again where it is ok to get messy? I know some days I wish I could. She just makes me smile. It’s also nice to be able to give her a little bit of country in our suburban life right now. I grew up in the country and loved my childhood. And Emma actually spent her first year and a half on that same property where my parents have a horse, goats and our chickens. So I wanted to give her that since of good old growing up in an area that is really busy and urban. So here she is getting to be a kid and doing what kids do best.
Leave a comment below if you have a little one in your life who makes you smile. Leave a cute story if you want too! 🙂
I know that title is a bit long and odd but it will make sense in a minute. First, I know as a child of God I have grace but that isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about being able to give grace or I guess mercy to people. I have a dark side and, if I am offended, it can be hard for me to come back into the light with that particular person. Right now the person I am not a fan of is the man who got the promotion I think my husband deserves. I have never met him face to face but what I hear about him and how he looks (I do see him since I pick up my husband from work sometimes) it makes me mad that he got the position and my husband didn’t. I husband looks and acts more worthy of the position but I wasn’t on the board that made the decision… Any way, see what I mean?
I hate to admit that I struggle in this area but I am human. Grudges go back as far as Cain and Able. Thank the Lord I have never wanted to kill anyone but still, isn’t any type of hatred murder in God’s eyes? Ouch. After I have a fight with the person I don’t like in my head (like that would make a difference any way), I then remember that I could have used those couple minutes in a more God loving way. I mean, would I really say the things that were in my head right to the guy’s face? Maybe… Ok no I wouldn’t but then why do I have these conversations in my head?
The answer? (drum roll) I am a sinner saved by grace. Just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean that I will be perfect. God doesn’t expect that of me. He wants a canvas to work on. There is no fun in painting a picture on a canvas that is already painted on. He wants to paint me into the picture that he wants to see. I am different than all the other paintings in His gallery. This is where my husband comes in.
I married pretty much the most laid back, roll it off your shoulders guy you have ever met. It takes a lot for him to become angry and hold any type of grudge. I have no idea how he does it. I still can remember the feeling of the guy that cut me off on the freeway two days ago and my husband seems to forget it a second after the occurrence. How does he do it? He is painted different than me. He has this gift of mercy and grace that I have never seen before. And I am very grateful he has it since that means he gives me the grace and mercy I need when I mess up and maybe say something that was hurtful. I am better about it since I am really trying hard to be a more gracious person and give people more slack, but it’s hard and I appreciate my husband being that example for me. He loves me even when I am not so lovable at that moment, he encourages me when I don’t want to see the bright side in something, and he leads me to know when to finally let something go.
I wish I had his gift of grace. God’s not done with my painting yet so there is still time. In the mean time, I just need to pay attention to the example set before me in my wonderful leader of a husband.
Happy Easter everyone! For some it’s just a holiday that’s full of candy and fun. If you go back to ancient times you will learn what the bunnies and chicks really stand for and it’s not kid friendly. But for me, Easter (really Passover) is much more than that.
It’s the time that Jesus changed the game. He died on the cross for my sins. He went through the horror of the unfair trial, the beating, being separated from the Father, and finally giving up the ghost all for me. He knew I would be born two 1958 years later and to Him it was worth it. Wow! I still can’t believe the depths of that sometimes.
He is my Savior and my King and I can’t wait for him to come back. There’s more signs that is getting close and I’m excited. I want to meet my Savior. I want to see my Jesus face to face.
I got an interesting letter in the mail today. I sort of freaked out because it was from Sutter Health and it looked like it was a bill. Here is the thing though, we paid off all of our bills two years ago to them right before my husband got his current benefits at his job. So I opened the letter and a second later started laughing my head off.
Let me give you a little back story. In December 2013 I came down with a nasty respiratory cold and it got so bad that I had to go to the ER. Mind you I was also five months pregnant with my daughter and had a fever that wasn’t coming down. So off to the ER we went and had the most horrific service I have ever had in the ER. WE were there for 7 hours and saw the Doctor for 10 minutes. They didn’t do an IV or anything. They simply called me crazy and sent me home. In the words of Michelle Tanner “How rude!”
After that we were slammed with a $1,000.00 bill from the ER room for no service and and a $250 bill for 10 minutes with the Doctor who did absolutely nothing! Nothing! He got paid to tell me I was nuts. Any way, we wanted to protest the amount of the bill but with all the crap from Obama Care (thanks Obama), I didn’t want to get into a nasty medical case. So we were good stewards and paid the bill one $25 dollar payment at a time.
Why so low? Well…I had tried to settle with them on a lump sum but they wouldn’t take it. They wanted the full amount even if it meant that they got it $25 at a time. Once again, they were rude and uncaring. So we did just that for about eight months. Then we got enough to pay the full amount and did so just to get away from this system of terror.
Ok, now back to why I was laughing my head off. Turns out we over paid! Guess by how much?
That’s right, one penny! The stamp itself was $0.47. So they spent $0.48 in total. I would have honestly said keep the change but they have to by law send out any overpayment fees. So I did end up getting the last laugh. Needless to say, we are no longer with this group and now with a medical group who treated us like gold when my husband was recently there. You can read all about it HERE.
So if you are dealing with a medical fiasco, take heart. You just might get a check in the mail for $0.01 for two and half years ago and get the last laugh in the end.
I have learned a lot since becoming a parent. I have learned that there is more to raising a child than just making silly noises and playing games. There’s a lot of responsibility in keeping someone else alive everyday, but she’s taught me something else. She has shown me how selfish I am.
I always knew other people were selfish but I never knew how selfish I was until I had my daughter. I’m so selfish with my time and resources that it makes me so sad sometimes. Here she is just being a kid and most of the time I would rather her go and play by herself so I can get my stuff done that I want to do. How selfish is that?
So I am being worked on in that area of my life and maybe someday it will be worked out. You can’t be a good parent and be selfish at the same time. It like a pirate with treasure and his rum while falling off a cliff. He can try to hang onto both but he can’t pull himself up. He has to let go of one of them. One will bring pleasure now but it quickly fading and the other is heavier but it will bring him the most joy in the long run. I was the pirate, I would ditch the rum and keep the treasure.
Because, in the long run, my greatest treasure is my daughter and God has given her to me to raise the way He wants. I can’t do that if I don’t give her the time and attention she needs. My projects will always be there but my daughter is only little for a short time. I would rather pull her in close and know that at least one thing was taken care of that day – I know that my daughter came first.
So hold your kids tight. This is just but a season with them. Soon they will be out on their own and won’t need you like they do now. My daughter is 2 years old in two weeks and I can’t believe how fast she has grown up. I don’t want to miss her childhood.
So I just got my blood test back and it was negative. I have to still talk with my doctor but I guess it’s my PCOS flaring up for me not having a period since January. I don’t really know whether to be happy or sad to be honest. There’s tears for sure but not like before. I love having one child so I am thankful that is just just her right nowvbut what I am sad about is that means I can’t get pregnant again at all.
With the last three times it was because they wouldn’t implant but this time it is because I’m not ovulating again for this missed cycle. I really hate having PSOC. I don’t know why God has given it to me but I know it has to be a reason. I don’t know where this will leave my husband and I trying for more children but right now I definitely want a break. This is turning our intimacy as a couple into a burden and I don’t want that. It’s not good for either of us and it’s not good for our marriage. So what is the next step? I don’t know.
I just know that my Jesus loves me and He will get me through this. I have nothing else to go off of because this isn’t fair. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. There has be something beyond me going on and I know God is working this out for His glory. But if you think of it, send a prayer my family’s way. Even though I’m standing strong with my faith doesn’t mean something like this doesn’t hurt. I’d have to be a robot to think that not being able to have a child is no big deal.
So off I go getting to raise my one miracle child and loving my husband. That’s all I can do. It’s up to God to do the rest.
I remember when my husband and I were dating and started talking about how many kids we wanted. I wanted two and he wanted four. I thought he was crazy but his number never faltered even after getting married. Well I got to thinking about it because God has already blessed us with four kids. Just one has made it to earth.
I guess my husband should have been more specific with God. I mean He gave us a fireball so we have our hands full so that isn’t an issue. It would have been nice to have met our three babies in heaven though. And there’s a strong possibility a fourth child will be joining them. We haven’t been trying but that doesn’t mean we were 100% perfect with our birth control method and we slipped up twice. It looks like it was enough. I have been having my symptoms again (this time I’m actually 21 days late) but took a test and it was negative. Emailed my doctor and I’m having a pregnancy test done today.
We had decided to stop trying to avoid the pain of another loss. I guess God has other plans. It’s not that He wants me and my husband to suffer but there must be something for us to learn still. I don’t know what it is and I hate having to learn lessons this way but I am God’s servant and His Grace will be sufficient. If I lose this baby too then I will work through it but if He dose give us a miracle that would be great. Any prayers would be appreciated for which way this goes.
I know that it might appear that we have had a lot of excitement in our home lately but to be honest there is an underlying sense of boredom. I know my husband and I have goals and thrifting is a big part of our lives right now but I’ll be real and say it’s really boring sometimes.
Yeah my husband goes to work all day and wants to be home on his days off, but I am home every single day and it gets really boring around here with routine. I wake up, keep my daughter alive, husband comes home, I make dinner, I might get him to do dishes, give my daughter a bath, put her to bed, and then go to bed my self. Repeat that like every other mother in the world not just five days a week but seven. It’s just that two of the days I have my husband home to take care of too. It sometimes is hard being the mom/wife. Your family expects so much out of you and, when you can’t deliver, it seems like the whole house falls a part. I’d be so worried what would happen if I kicked the bucket right now. The vacuum would have more dust on it than the floor and my daughter would probably grow up on Papa Murphy’s pizza. Not saying my husband isn’t a great dad, I’m just saying that there’s a whole lot more that goes on that neither him or daughter know goes on to keep the house going.
So why am I bored? Because I am home all the time. Are there any women out there that will understand what that one line means? I feel like Cinderella on a regular basis. I work but never get to play as a family. I love my family and I want to spend time with them but sometimes I wish that Cinderella would be able to go to the ball with her Prince and little Princess more often than just church. I guess that’s what I get for marrying an introvert.
It wasn’t always like this. When we were dating, my husband and I had so much fun. He keeps saying we will have fun again so I’m trying to be patient. He says when he’s retired we will do stuff together again more than just do things around the house. Does he not get that’s a minimum of 20 years away? I don’t know what he thinks I’ll be able to do in that time but it can’t just be staying home and doing nothing. I want to be a good wife but I struggle too sometimes.
But I know that isn’t the way it is supposed to be. My husband is working hard for us to have a better life in the future and just need to wait. Until then, I just need to look to God for comfort and sit on the couch with my husband after he mows the lawn and such on his days off.