I know that title is a bit long and odd but it will make sense in a minute. First, I know as a child of God I have grace but that isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about being able to give grace or I guess mercy to people. I have a dark side and, if I am offended, it can be hard for me to come back into the light with that particular person. Right now the person I am not a fan of is the man who got the promotion I think my husband deserves. I have never met him face to face but what I hear about him and how he looks (I do see him since I pick up my husband from work sometimes) it makes me mad that he got the position and my husband didn’t. I husband looks and acts more worthy of the position but I wasn’t on the board that made the decision… Any way, see what I mean?
I hate to admit that I struggle in this area but I am human. Grudges go back as far as Cain and Able. Thank the Lord I have never wanted to kill anyone but still, isn’t any type of hatred murder in God’s eyes? Ouch. After I have a fight with the person I don’t like in my head (like that would make a difference any way), I then remember that I could have used those couple minutes in a more God loving way. I mean, would I really say the things that were in my head right to the guy’s face? Maybe… Ok no I wouldn’t but then why do I have these conversations in my head?
The answer? (drum roll) I am a sinner saved by grace. Just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean that I will be perfect. God doesn’t expect that of me. He wants a canvas to work on. There is no fun in painting a picture on a canvas that is already painted on. He wants to paint me into the picture that he wants to see. I am different than all the other paintings in His gallery. This is where my husband comes in.
I married pretty much the most laid back, roll it off your shoulders guy you have ever met. It takes a lot for him to become angry and hold any type of grudge. I have no idea how he does it. I still can remember the feeling of the guy that cut me off on the freeway two days ago and my husband seems to forget it a second after the occurrence. How does he do it? He is painted different than me. He has this gift of mercy and grace that I have never seen before. And I am very grateful he has it since that means he gives me the grace and mercy I need when I mess up and maybe say something that was hurtful. I am better about it since I am really trying hard to be a more gracious person and give people more slack, but it’s hard and I appreciate my husband being that example for me. He loves me even when I am not so lovable at that moment, he encourages me when I don’t want to see the bright side in something, and he leads me to know when to finally let something go.
I wish I had his gift of grace. God’s not done with my painting yet so there is still time. In the mean time, I just need to pay attention to the example set before me in my wonderful leader of a husband.