How Simple Things Make a Difference in a Relationship

The experts say the simple things make us happier than the extravagant things. I don’t know where having a house and things to wear fall into that but I do know one area where even the simplest things makes a huge difference.

If you have been keeping up with my latest posts (not that I have a ton up since life has thrown everything and the kitchen sink at me) you know that my husband and I have been having to live separately and I have been taking care of my two year old daughter all by myself. And it has been a challenge at times. Not all bad but more of a challenge than fun. I don’t know how single moms get anything done or have any time for themselves. I know I haven’t had any and now after my last post my body has decided that enough is enough and I need to slow down. One problem though, I am still a single parent for fifteen more days until we get to move into our new house. So I can’t give my body what it wants and my babysitters are still pretty tapped out since they have been having to watch my daughter as I have run around with a chicken with my head cut off for this house and the other things that are going on with my life.

But it got to the point yesterday that I told my husband he had to take a day off (even though he has no PN time left) because I needed a day to relax. By that time I had zero voice and so exhausted I fell asleep three times on the couch in a 12 hour period. Something as simple as rest can make your relationships better, but, with a selfish and demanding two year old who can’t look outside herself, that is hard.

Now may daughter isn’t abnormally selfish and demanding. All toddlers are and they have no idea that you have thoughts and feelings and needs too. Trust me, I would love to sit down and have a tantrum on the floor most days but I can’t since I am the adult. But when I do get a break I can be a better mommy. My husband knows this but since w don’t live under that same roof at the moment, that is rather difficult.

So there is one way that can make the simplest thing a big plus for any relationship and that is time for one’s self. The other is spending time with your spouse. Since my hubby and I aren’t under that same roof, it means that we are also not sharing a bed. And that is good marriage advice 101: always sleep with your spouse in the same bed.

It feels like a luxury to us right now. We are having to leave my parent’s house for the week since my aunt and uncle are here and get to spend a couple nights in a hotel, one night with my sister, one night back at my parent’s house and one night at the hotel again. It is going to be a crazy week with zero consistency for my poor little girl. But at least last night and tonight my husband and I get to sleep in the same bed.

The other times we have been in the same room to sleep these past two months have been one of us on the couch and other is on the floor. Not super romantic right? And don’t get me started on romance. Let’s just say that according to my mother ‘it shouldn’t be on our list of things to do right now’ even though this has been the most stressful situation we have been through together. If this happens to our daughter and her husband, I will make sure that they can still be together as a couple as much a possible. I believe, if we were able to be together, I would have handled this situation a whole lot better.

Any way, all that to say that make sure you enjoy the simple things in life like sleeping in a bed with your spouse or having someone to watch your daughter for two seconds while you go pee. I know I have learned to appreciate it and have gained a whole new perspective of how life is for so many people. I have learned how to be a single mom and not lose my mind (sort of) and how to live with my husband two counties away and only in person on the weekends. But I will be happier when this is over and we are in our house. I can make it 15 more days. 🙂

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Five more minutes mommy!

Now I See How Ariel Felt

So this morning I got a nice surprise. I woke up with absolutely no voice. None. Couldn’t even say good morning to my daughter and husband since it is so bad. I haven’t felt very good the last week but I figured it is because I am detoxing from all the crap my body has gone through.

Well this tops it all. Nothing is worse than having a two year old daughter and no voice. So my husband took another day off work so I can rest. Hopefully my voice will come back as the day goes on 🙂 All I know is that I have been doing charades all day trying to communicate with my family besides texting them with them standing right in front of me. I feel like Ariel when she is trying to communicate with Eric but she just looks like she is flailing her arms about like an idiot.

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This explains my morning perfectly 🙂

But the good thing is that my husband is taking my daughter out for the day and I actually get to rest. Have a happy Thursday! 🙂

New Life Out of the Old

So I think the word for us right now is change. There is very little stability when it comes to where we live and what we have. God has been throwing a lot of change at us and we can’t keep up with it. We have to get a lot of new things for the new house that we couldn’t take from the old and that has been a stretch for me. I am not that great with change to begin with.

Then I saw this on a walk went on with my daughter.

 

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Jeremiah 17:8

He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Can you see it? There is a new tree growing out of the dead stump. That is how I feel right now. I feel like the tree of my life with my husband, daughter and our stuff has been cut down to a stump. It looks ugly and dead moving into a new house with just our clothes and dishes. For once we don’t have enough furniture to fill a house. It is like when my husband and I were first married.

But then I am starting to see the life coming back. We have been super blessed by the people around us and slowly I can see the house filling up. It’s a little bit from here and little from there but at least it is what we need. I am so grateful for everyone in our life and that’s the important part. We are being a blessing to another person who is able to bless us. God is good, I know.

I am starting to get excited about the next move to the new house. Escrow should close in two weeks but the sellers have been able to stay for 9 extra days so it will be July before we can move in. So the move in countdown is now – 26 days 🙂

Just Trying to Chill Out

As a parent, there are those times where you really need a break and it seems like those are the days that your child is the worst to be around. Think I am crazy? If you are a parent, you know what I am talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter. I wouldn’t trade her for all the yarn in the world but there are times where we need a break from each other. This weekend is one of those weekends.

Why do you say? Because our living situation has been such that she and I are around each other all the time with no male support to go with it. Where is my husband? Due to some things with our past rental and waiting for our house to close… Oh and we have only one car, he has been living with a very gracious co-worker and I have been living with my parents. Now, my parents have been a BIG help but it is different not having my husband around to be my daughter’s strong male figure. She loves her grandpa and he adores her but there isn’t the same level of respect as there is with her father. I don’t get why I can tell her one thing ten times and she still ignores me but her father says it once and she listens. Annoys the heck out of me but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So when we are together on the weekends as a family my husband has been really trying to step up an help since he knows that I am doing the parent thing on my own. Like right now, I am getting to blog for the first time in days because he has taken her to the park. My lack of blogging is not because I don’t have anything to say but rather I have chasing a two year old around trying to keep her from hurting herself. Some day I hope she finally gets that there such a thing called gravity.

In conclusion, I really do love my husband and miss him while he gone during the week. It makes me appreciate those who do this all the time and not just for a couple months. I don’t know how you do it to be honest. I am at my wits end most days dealing with all the stress I have been going through and raising my daughter. Soon though we will get to be together as a family again under the same roof. 25 Days and we get to move into our new house 🙂

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How I feel I look at the end of most days right now LOL 🙂

Just Keep Swimming!

I can’t believe it, my little girl is taking swim lessons and she is the perfect little guppy. She isn’t all the way swimming on her own but she will be soon. Until then, we have to help keep her afloat. Man how do I feel God having to do that with me sometimes… ok all the time.

Yes, I am swimming in the pool of life and, without His hand holding me, I would drown. I am trying to swim on my own but it isn’t possible. I need God’s hand to be there to catch me when I swallow water of have it go up my nose and I panic. He is the one that sweeps me up in His arms and says “Nice try. Let’s try again”.

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Big smile as she is getting more confident every time she gets in the pool 🙂