How Simple Things Make a Difference in a Relationship

The experts say the simple things make us happier than the extravagant things. I don’t know where having a house and things to wear fall into that but I do know one area where even the simplest things makes a huge difference.

If you have been keeping up with my latest posts (not that I have a ton up since life has thrown everything and the kitchen sink at me) you know that my husband and I have been having to live separately and I have been taking care of my two year old daughter all by myself. And it has been a challenge at times. Not all bad but more of a challenge than fun. I don’t know how single moms get anything done or have any time for themselves. I know I haven’t had any and now after my last post my body has decided that enough is enough and I need to slow down. One problem though, I am still a single parent for fifteen more days until we get to move into our new house. So I can’t give my body what it wants and my babysitters are still pretty tapped out since they have been having to watch my daughter as I have run around with a chicken with my head cut off for this house and the other things that are going on with my life.

But it got to the point yesterday that I told my husband he had to take a day off (even though he has no PN time left) because I needed a day to relax. By that time I had zero voice and so exhausted I fell asleep three times on the couch in a 12 hour period. Something as simple as rest can make your relationships better, but, with a selfish and demanding two year old who can’t look outside herself, that is hard.

Now may daughter isn’t abnormally selfish and demanding. All toddlers are and they have no idea that you have thoughts and feelings and needs too. Trust me, I would love to sit down and have a tantrum on the floor most days but I can’t since I am the adult. But when I do get a break I can be a better mommy. My husband knows this but since w don’t live under that same roof at the moment, that is rather difficult.

So there is one way that can make the simplest thing a big plus for any relationship and that is time for one’s self. The other is spending time with your spouse. Since my hubby and I aren’t under that same roof, it means that we are also not sharing a bed. And that is good marriage advice 101: always sleep with your spouse in the same bed.

It feels like a luxury to us right now. We are having to leave my parent’s house for the week since my aunt and uncle are here and get to spend a couple nights in a hotel, one night with my sister, one night back at my parent’s house and one night at the hotel again. It is going to be a crazy week with zero consistency for my poor little girl. But at least last night and tonight my husband and I get to sleep in the same bed.

The other times we have been in the same room to sleep these past two months have been one of us on the couch and other is on the floor. Not super romantic right? And don’t get me started on romance. Let’s just say that according to my mother ‘it shouldn’t be on our list of things to do right now’ even though this has been the most stressful situation we have been through together. If this happens to our daughter and her husband, I will make sure that they can still be together as a couple as much a possible. I believe, if we were able to be together, I would have handled this situation a whole lot better.

Any way, all that to say that make sure you enjoy the simple things in life like sleeping in a bed with your spouse or having someone to watch your daughter for two seconds while you go pee. I know I have learned to appreciate it and have gained a whole new perspective of how life is for so many people. I have learned how to be a single mom and not lose my mind (sort of) and how to live with my husband two counties away and only in person on the weekends. But I will be happier when this is over and we are in our house. I can make it 15 more days. 🙂

Five more minutes mommy!

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