How Would Disney Princesses Be Sorted?

If you are like me you are all into Harry Potter, but you grew up in the 90s so you were bombarded with Disney Princesses. I personally grew up singing every single song and I can still to this day rock Disney karaoke on the drop of the hat. I spent my teenage years looking for my Prince Charming and cried at all the happy endings. But now I am an adult. So do I have to stop believing in magic? Heck no! Because I have been introduced to Hogwarts and all things Harry Potter and I am screaming “Oh Harry! Where have you been all my life!” (British accent poorly but appropriately inflected).

Since I am now a Potterhead, I of course got sorted on https://www.pottermore.com/ and I am a proud Ravenclaw! My husband was then sorted as a very accurate Hufflepuff and my daughter is too young to be sorted but we strongly agree she will probably end up in Ravenclaw or possibly Slytherin. I hope Ravenclaw since I am not a big fan of the color green but LOVE blue with a touch of yellow. Any way, it got me thinking about mixing the two classics… Could I still be a Disney princess fan while supporting fellow Ravenclaws?  then I saw this shirt (comes in a hoodie too) and it explained me perfectly. (And no I make no money if you buy it off this link.)

hogwarts shirt
  Shirt says “I am a Disney Princess at Hogwarts I’ll Stupefy you and the bust into an inspirational song”

But now I am getting off track. My next thought I was thinking was which houses would the Disney princesses be sorted into if they attended Hogwarts? So I did some soul searching and here is the list I came up with and the reasons but first let’s have a review on the traits from each house. I got these from The Odyssey

Gryffindor: The house of the brave, loyal, courageous, adventurous, daring and chivalrous. Those who stand up for others are typically Gryffindors. Brave-hearted is the most well-known Gryffindor characteristic, and Gryffindors are also known for having a lot of nerve. “Do what is right” is the motto Gryffindors go by.

Ravenclaw: The house is known for their wisdom, intelligence, creativity, cleverness and knowledge. Those who value brains over brawn can be found here. Ravenclaws often tend to be quite quirky as well. “Do what is wise” is the motto they strive to follow. Though Ravenclaws can be know-it-alls sometimes, they most likely do know what the wisest decision is.

Hufflepuff: This house values hard work, dedication, fair play, patience, and loyalty. Hufflepuff’s are known for being just and true. “Do what is nice” is their motto. Hufflepuff is known as the “nice house” and believes strongly in sparing peoples feelings and being kind. This is not to say that Hufflepuffs aren’t smart or courageous. Hufflepuffs just enjoy making others happy and tend to be more patient towards people.

Slytherin: This is the house of the cunning, prideful, resourceful, ambitious, intelligent, and determined. Slytherin’s love to be in charge and crave leadership. “Do what is necessary” is the motto of this house.

Ok, now that we have this to go by, let’s take a look at how I think the Disney Princesses would have been sorted if they ever had the chance to attend Hogwarts and say “see ya” to their love struck princes.

Ariel

Although she is my favorite princess since I love being a mermaid and I even became one (check out This Post to see how), she is a Slytherin. OMG! What? First on the list and it’s a Slytherin? I know, but hear me out. Look back at the list and then think about Ariel’s motivation for the entire movie. I’ll wait. Now do you see it? Her motivation was completely selfish! She was cunning and resourceful for what she wanted by going to Ursula. She was also ambitious in becoming human, intelligent on how to get the prince to fall for her even though she had no voice, and determined to have no one stop her from getting her happy ending. She is a whole class Slytherin and I think the house would have been proud to have her join them at their table.

Rapunzel 

I am guessing you are figuring out the clue I am giving to let you know which house I think the princess in question is sorted in? Good. That was the point. I am having my Ravenclaw show a little LOL. But yes Rapunzel is also a Ravenclaw because she is very smart. She knows what she wants but she is smart on how to get it. She problem solves, and is very out spoken in her adventures with Eugene. Even though some might say she is Slytherin I disagree and say she is Ravenclaw so to the fact she is also very creative and wise as she helps the bandits remember their dreams and later to figure out the puzzle of her royal heritage. So good job girl and welcome to the Ravenclaw house!

Snow White

Sorry dear Hufflepuffs but the yellow would not show up so the lettering is an orange/yellow color. But I think there is no argument when I say Snow White a true Hufflepuff. The truest of them all. She is kind and loyal to her friends even if she is a little light in the head, she still sees the good in people and just wants everyone to get along.

Jasmin

I had a tough time figuring Jasmin out at first since she is honestly a little of each house, but I finally settled on Gryffindor because she ultimately wants to do what is right. She believes in justice and changing things that are hurting those around her. she isn’t scared to state her opinion but to go a step further and take action by getting on a flying carpet and flying around the world with a complete stranger. So props Jasmin for making it into the Gryffindor house!

Merida

Merida to me was an easy pick. With her hot head and red hair, Gryffindor seemed natural, but it was her spirit for adventure and doing the right thing that actually won her the spot at the Gryffindor table. Hopefully she will keep her cool and not turn anyone into any more bears or ferrets now that she has a wand beside her bow and arrows.

Aurora 

“I know you! I walked with you once all the way to the Hufflepuff table!” Oh wait, that’s not how the song goes. Oh well it should since she definitely is one. With her tender heart and big dreams, Aurora joins Snow White as the newest members at the Hufflepuff table.

Belle 

Need I really say it? She loves books and knowledge! That’s a huge sign that someone is a Ravenclaw! But not only that she showed great cleverness in getting her father released by taking his place and the wisdom to see the Beast’s heart passed his appearance. She spoke up to him and wasn’t taken back by his temper to be able to stand up for herself. She is a clever and smart lass and deserves to be at the Ravenclaw table who will later be seen in the library reading.

Pocahontas

Now I have my own buff with Disney on the way they made this movie she is my great, great, grrrreeeaattt aunt. I am actually related to her sister. Any way, she earns a spot at the Slytherin table. I know. My own family member! A Slytherin! But the way that Disney made her look it was fitting. See, she might have said in her head “I’ll hang out with John Smith and our worlds will learn from each other”. Ok, good idea that almost earned her a spot at Ravenclaw, but when that plan failed and she wouldn’t back down from seeing John Smith behind her father’s back made it so she lost her wisdom seat. Instead she then showed that she was willing to do anything to get what she wanted even if it meant almost getting her and her love killed. And in the end she lost it all anyway. Good job, Auntie.

Mulan

Do I really need to explain this one? She did what any respectable child would have done to protect her father. She was brave, loyal and courageous. Welcome to Gryffindor!

Anna

I actually had the hardest time sorting this one. Started giving me a headache. Ok, I had to through in a Sorting Hat joke. But it was Anna’s desire to have everyone together and getting along that showed me she deserved to be a Hufflepuff. She is loyal and kind and loves to be around people. The Hufflepuffs couldn’t have gotten a more perfect addition to their table.

Elsa

Yup. You see the right color on Elsa’s name. Now I know you were probably thinking Gryffindor but let me explain, Yes, Elsa tried to do the right thing by hiding her magic, but was it really the right thing? Or was it her being prideful and letting her fear of failure control her? She does have a big heart but it almost cost her everything since her lack of letting anyone help her almost killed the one person who believed in her the most. Get a walking Elsa. You are a Slytherin. 

Tiana

Now this is the one princess I don’t know the most about since I saw her movie one time and it scared me and a friend so badly we kept every light on in the house until morning. But from what I remember is that she is super smart in her desire to be a restaurant owner. She is determined and witty, but she has a downfall in dealing with a voodoo master guy who turns her and a prince into a frog. Or something like that. Either way she gets turned into a frog and then has to use her skills and brain to get herself turned back into a human. So for those reasons she better getting studying for those exams because she is a Ravenclaw.

Moana

Another one is lost to the Slytherin table… Ok not really lost but Slytherin and Ravenclaws don’t usually get along so I see it as a loss. Once again you might have thought Gryffindor since she was brave to venture out on her own to save her island. But let me remind you the original reason Moana wanted to get on a boat and it wasn’t to really help her people. It just happened to work out that what she wanted turned out to be what the island needed and she did what she had to then to save it. Time to wave on down to the Slytherins, Moana. Maybe you can teach them to sail?

Cinderella

And lastly there is the sweet Cinderella. There is only one house that this princess falls into really. If she was a Slytherin she would have figured out a way to make her step family pay to gain control of the estate, if she was Gryffindor she would have just told them to pound sand and tell them to leave, and if she was a Ravenclaw she would have been smart enough to think of plan to remove herself from the situation. Also if you talk to mice there is really only one house for you. Hufflepuffs! Get ready to have more animal friends in your presence! 

So there you have it. My list of how the Disney princesses would be sorted if they attended Hogwarts. Do you agree? Do you not? I would love to hear your respectful comments down below and remember, constant vigilance! 

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Why Can’t Disney Be Culturally Correct?

   Disclaimer: This post has spoilers inside, I don’t own the images in this blog post, I have not been paid for this blog post by Disney or any affiliate, and I LOVE Disney still.

   As many kids in the 80s and 90s, I grew up watching Disney Princess movies. I loved them then and I love them now, but, as I have gotten older, I have seen how Disney isn’t very good about one thing their movies. They are not very culturally correct. It’s a real bummer really because they miss out on the chance to really share with the world the culture the movie is about. You probably have some that came to mind immediately but the ones in particular that bug me are Aladdin, Mulan 1 and 2, Moana, and Pocahontas.

   Were any of these on your list? Now I am not an expert or anything but I can see enough to know that these are all white people stories in different colors. Take Aladdin for example.

aladdin

   Can anyone else just see the cultural issues with this? I’ll give you a hint. It is Jasmine’s outfit. In the beginning of the film you are shown hookers who are more covered up than the princess. In no Muslim country would a princess be allowed to dress like Jasmine is. If she did, she would be flogged and probably killed for the immodesty she boldly showed against her family. Jasmine would have looked more like this.

muslim woman

   It wouldn’t have been as fun to animate but at least it would ten times more modest.

   The other one is about this scene here where they fly off on Carpet together. Now I love “A Whole New World” just like any other Disney fan, but there is a huge cultural problem. In no way would a woman be seen off with another man without her father or brothers to escort her to the market let alone around the world. Once again, this was a behavior that would have ended with her life more than likely.

   The next movie that was so blatantly wrong culturally was Mulan and Mulan 2, but Mulan 2 was much more of an embarrassment. Mulan is this girl that goes off to war in the place of her father. Super sweet and super messed up. The whole matching thing isn’t totally off since the goal for any woman in the ancient China was to get a man to marry her. Women were seen as hinderances to the family and not an asset. So when it appeared that Mulan had this great and understanding relationship with her father that was not always the case. The fact that she would sacrifice herself to save her father would be very unusual. Most women couldn’t even read let alone know how to navigate a map.

mulan

   But other than the talking dragon and the fact that she was so comfortable hugging the Emperor after receiving his gifts, the movie wasn’t a complete loss with the cultural knowledge I have. The movie that made me sick was Mulan 2.

mulan 2

   Now granted, Mulan 2 is COMPLETE fiction, but it is still based on a culture and Disney should have been aware of it. For example, just because one woman might have saved China would change centuries of thought on the importance of women in the way they acted, dressed and interacted. So in the song “Lesson Number One” where the girls find Mulan in the field and then beg her to teach them how to fight would have been greatly frowned upon. Really these children would have not been allowed to leave their parent’s side because there would be too much work to be done.

   Next is the fact that the Emperor calls on Mulan like she was a regular soldier. If I was Mulan and actually made it home alive, the last thing I would want to be considered is a regular soldier for the ridicule alone of leaving the first time. This would have left her with the men having little respect for her.

   Then there is the fact that Shang actually asks her to marry him like a modern couple. If Shang wanted to marry Mulan he would have gone to her father and the deal would be struck whether Mulan liked it or not. So there is another thing that was culturally incorrect.

   Thirdly there was Mulan’s opinion on the arrange marriage. A soldier would never second guess the Emperor. Which then leads into the princesses and their song “Other Girls”. As princesses, these girls had more rights and privileges than any girls in their time. If you wanted to be like other girls, that meant being thrown in the rice fields doing back breaking work, still having to marry whom your father chose, and not doing or behaving in any fashion as described in the song. Why? Because other girls weren’t climbing trees, speaking for herself,  marrying for love, slouching, and “just to be free like other girls get to be”. The princesses would never dare dishonor their father by leaving to go with the soldiers and definitely not unescorted. If their father found out the great dishonor his children had brought upon him, he would have treated them like they were dead.

   Speaking of dead. What was with the American accent of the Mong bandits? I mean really? But then the sadness comes and Shang dies. So sad. So then Mulan decides she is going to give herself as replacement for the princesses so that the they and the soldiers can be together forever in their complete dishonor. Sounds like a great honeymoon right? Oh it gets better for the fact that Mulan does this herself. Her father would have been the only one to do such a thing and something tells me he would have signed the dotted line. Who wouldn’t want his daughter to marry a prince? The family would be set forever. But she is saved because good ole Shang lived from his death fall and interrupts the ceremony even though the tie was tied and the unity of the prince and Mulan were complete.

   What does that mean? Shang stole a married woman! Talk about scandalous. But her guardian Mushu saved the day and some how got them all to believe that her previous marriage from five seconds ago was invalid. So the little ceremony that Mushu performed wasn’t valid either so good thing they went back to get married at home.

   Whew. I am tired of all this cultural horse pucky going around, aren’t you? Well, I am not done. There are two more movies that need to be addressed and the next one is the smash hit – Moana.

moana.jpeg

   I actually had to do a little research on this one, but it broke my heart that once again Disney just couldn’t help themselves and ruined a perfect chance to educate people. So Moana is actually Samoan. I knew that she wasn’t Hawaiian, but I wasn’t sure so that is what my research pulled up and from there it just spilled more issues like a woman being a chief, the stereotypes of Samoan and Philippine men, the fact that they fight coconut people, and Maui I guess has a lady friend already. Sorry Moana.

   But I have to touch on the coconut thing since I thought that was something odd. Turns out, the reason the little pirate people being coconuts is offensive is because it would be like calling a white person a cracker (I am white so I can say that). It’s the slur against the people group. So don’t say coconuts I guess, but it was something that Disney should have known.

   The other thing was the fact that Moana was a woman. Even though I believe women were seen a little better in the islander cultures, she was still a woman, and would not been given the spot as chief. This new thing where women can rule over men is really backward from the time periods these movies are written. I wish that Disney would just stick to history and be right for once. History isn’t a bad thing.

   And Maui has a lady friend I found out that should have been in the movie, but was written out. Even though there is no official love connection between Moana and Maui, it was obvious that by the end of the movie there are some feelings there. I mean Maui came back for her for goodness sake! How isn’t that love in a Disney movie? He was pretty much saying, “lets stop fighting the lava monster and make demi babies” for crying out loud. But then again, Disney doesn’t like telling the whole story. Imagine the ear full that Maui got when he finally got home. I would not want to be anywhere near that argument.

   So we have covered the basics of the movies that came to my mind, but this next movie has to the be the first of everyone’s list in America since it is a story from our history books. Pocahontas is one of my favorite movies because of its music. I still get goosebumps at “Colors of the Wind” every  time I hear it. I just love it, but I don’t like what they did to the movie.

pocahontas-dp_5151.jpg

   The movie goes on that there is this attractive Native American woman (who I am actually related to by the way) who loves her people but is too stubborn to go the way her people want. Then she meets strapping John Smith who steals her heart and then his people get in the way, one of them shoots the man that Pocahontas is supposed to marry, John Smith almost dies, Pocahontas saves him by speaking some pretty good truth about how we are all the same, and then John Smith gets shot and has to be shipped back to England for treatment.

   Not a bad story in itself if they had just changed the names of the characters. How do you think we all felt in third grade when the topic in history that day was Pocahontas and we find out the horrible truth? She was actually twelve years old when she meets John Smith who is in his forties, he proceeds to have sexual relationships with her regularly and forces her to talk with her people about the white people staying. I have no idea where Cocoum even comes in since he is not mentioned. But John Smith is captured, Pocahontas does save him, and he is shot and needed to go back to England.

   Would you have taken your kids to see that film? Probably not. Oh! And the best part! He gives her an STD which she dies from in England but not after giving it to John Rolfe who is the one she actually marries. At least she has a son who was now in the middle of all this drama. I think it would have made a good reality TV show actually.

   So now the question is, why is it impossible for Disney to be culturally right? Why do they have to turn every movie into a white movie? I have no idea, but it would be nice if they did. I would appreciate being able to share a Disney movie and say to my daughter, “yes this is how life for them really is” whether they are better people than ourselves or ones where their history may not be the shiniest. At least it would be the truth.

   What are some others that I didn’t mention? I would love to know so that I can be there to properly educate my daughter when we are watching these movies together.

Have a great day! 🙂