How You Know You have a Good Man

Now I know most women would say that they have a pretty good husband, but I know that I don’t. I have an awesome husband. He is the most wonderful man I could have ever been blessed with. Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t always see it. Actually I tend to take him for granted a lot. But here are some things that I try to keep in mind to know that I have a great husband and to remind you when you are in the middle of a fight with your man that he is still a good man too.

1. He goes to work every day without compliant

If your man goes to work everyday to bring home a paycheck, then you need to thank him. There are a lot of women out there who their husbands don’t even do this much. My husband has a great job but he has had to work very hard to get it and I am proud of him for that. He gets up, gets ready, and gets out the door to face another day of dead lines and stuff that I don’t have to deal with. He takes the brunt so that I get to be a stay at home mom with our little girl.

Not saying that if you still have to work that he is any less of a man. Some times it is just the fact that it is extremely hard to be a one income family now a days. Most places requires both spouses to work to provide for the family but that is where you can praise your husband even more. He still goes to work and helps pay the bills. He could just be sitting at home doing nothing but he is out working just as hard as you. A working man of any job is an amazing man.

2. If you have kids he spends time with them

After my husband comes home from work, all he wants to do is veg out on his phone. He has worked all day and put up with who knows what, I get it, but he has a daughter now to think about who hasn’t seen her daddy all day. Some times he absolutely shines in this area and plays with her without thinking and other times he slips a little. But those slips don’t out number the shining times. Like this one:

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That is right, my husband is wearing a blue jewel necklace playing Barbies with our daughter. I would say that is a pretty awesome man. Does your husband come home and play with your kids? Does he spend the time to make that relationship connection with them? If he does even in the slightest you have a great man.

3. He does work around the house

We are new home owners and that means that there is always work to do. My husband just planted the last of our tress this weekend and it was a good size job. Even though I would have preferred it done weeks ago, he still got it done. I could have moaned a groaned but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. So I backed off and now all our trees are happy in the ground and I have a happy husband.

Your husband can see what needs to be done. The question is that are you giving him room to put it higher on his to do list? Read any book on men and they will say that their priorities are different from ours. It is just how it goes. The thing is our reaction. If we explain (not nag, yell, or demand) why it is important to us for something to get done, I think you might be surprised at how fast it is actually accomplished.

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This is my husband coming home from work at going right out to do the hole for the last tree. I told him how important it was for me to have those trees in the ground and he agreed to get right on it. Yes, he didn’t even change. Of course he had a little helper who thought that it was rather entertaining seeing the hole being dug.

4.He loves me unconditionally

Do you feel loved? I know sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t by my husband. This whole infertility thing has really taken us through a loop and we are finding out a lot about ourselves as individuals and as a couple. I have learned that I have the biggest mood swings when it comes to having another baby and he has no idea what to do about them. And I have noticed that he is learning that he might not want to go through all the steps to have more children for the sake of our relationship. So where does that put us? We don’t know, but I know that at the end of the day my husband loves me without compare. Even if we just had a big fight and we don’t even want to look at each other, I know he loves me and I love him.

This is where it comes to going back to the beginning. Why did you guys end up together? What attracted you to each other? Have you just simple let that spark that was there all those years ago become dim? Being such a young married couple we are learning that. We are coming up on five years married which might not sound like many years to some people but we were also 20 and 21 when we tied the knot. We are very familiar with things happening that try to snuff out the spark between two people.

One thing is that life wants to kill the romance that had you once falling over heels for each other. My husband and I decided to wait but there was still a spark there. A desire to be together and, as out wedding neared, we were getting more and more excited and that spark began to become a wild fire. Then my husband had a terrible car accident which took years to heal. All that flame of waiting could have snuffed out very easily. Here he and I had waited to be together and now his back was so injured that it took almost a year for us to learn how to enjoy our intimate moments before he was back to “normal”. It would take another year for him to be fully healed. You want to talk about a mood killer? I can give you many examples.

Then our daughter was born two years after we were married. That would be the biggest mood killer of all. We had to sleep in separate rooms like most couples do to get any sleep during that first year of her life while she was up every two hours like a normal infant. But we still managed to keep the spark lit. It was maybe an ember at times but it was still there.

That isn’t the last of the story but I won’t go into it. The point is that we worked to keep our spark lit. There is more ways than one to have romance alive and show your husband that you are still madly in love with him. Are you even doing the basics? Are you taking every advantage to show him that you love him unconditionally? Believe it or not washing the dishes can be a pretty steamy event if you use your imagination.

4. You have to show him you think he is worth it

Finally, the greatest area for things to get better is with you. Where is your heart? You want to point fingers and blame him for all your problems right? That would be easy. Who wants to work on themselves when your partner is the problem? Well I am sorry to tell you but really the number one way to know if you have a good man is you. How do you treat him when he comes home? How do you treat him after a fight?

Your husband will only feel as empowered as you make him. If you don’t go that extra step to show him respect in every area then he will give up and question whether it is really worth it. He loves you but you have to prove you love him too. So if you answered yes to all or only a couple of things then you have a good man. I didn’t say you had a perfect one. We all have issues and so do our husbands. My biggest thing with my husband is his phone. It feels whenever I turn my back he is on it. Honestly I can’t change his time and usage but I can change my reaction and I can change my habits.

I have told him how I feel about his phone but if he sees me on mine all the time too then there is no reason to change. Before anything can change I have to change so that I can bring out the best in my husband.

So do I have a good man? Yes I do. Do you?

There are Still Good People

I had something really cool happen to me yesterday. I was doing my normal shopping for next week and I was going to have to put something back since I didn’t have enough cash with me. Due to the move and having to still replace a lot of stuff we lost in our house, our credit cards have gotten a little out of hand. Since we are Dave Ramsey people and would like to still have a nice Christmas this year, we are on a strict budget and free spending freeze. Yuck! It was kind of fun when I didn’t have to think about the card balance jacking up with each purchase but, if I had paid attention, we wouldn’t have been on a freeze now. Just a thought.

And it’s not like I am a charity case because I know why we are on a freeze and it’s better we do it now instead of our cards just getting out of control and we have bigger problems later. I own my debt and now we are doing the steps to make it work. It just means that we had to make some cuts and one of those cuts was losing $20 a week in grocery money. So instead of getting $80 a week, I now have to get creative and look up my tightwad ways again to provide for a family of three using still high quality products for $60 a week. I know for some people that is A LOT of money per week for food. But out here in California it is amazing on how not so far that much will get you.

And the puncher this week was that I had to buy our monthly protein mix which took out $40 bucks out of the budget. Ouch! And yes that meant I only had $20 for the rest of the week. Talk about trying to stretch a penny. But as a tightwad you learn a few things and I was able to get everything I needed except for one thing. Not a big deal really. I was just going to have to put the spinach back. The protein mix we get has fruits and veggies in it so I would be fine for one week without it.

That is when I almost broke down in the store because not one but two ladies were fighting over who would buy the spinach. I started crying right there not because of the cost of the spinach or having to put it back but because these ladies, who were complete strangers wanted to bless me by helping me get everything in my cart.

I am just still amazed at God’s grace and mercy over my family. Yes we lost everything and it will take me awhile to get things back to where they were but I know God will provide. He will help us get these cards paid off and us getting back on track. He is our hope and our comfort. I have given our finances to Him and keep an eye out for any chance I can to supplement our income to help us out. My husband is doing the same and God provided our gas for the month on August first. That was real blessing since now that is just one less thing that has to go on an already too much out our spending limits card.

So if you are thinking that there aren’t any good people left, take heart. I know with our current political world in America it feels like there’s nothing but bad news. Our country is divided and it is only getting worse. Of course that is a whole other post in itself. Just remember that we are all human and there are still good ones out there. We just need to show loving kindness to everyone.

Until next time! God bless.

How to Cope With Change (Sort of)

I know that is a funny title but let me explain. I have been going through a lot of change in my life and now we are going through another huge change in our family and that is my husband is looking to go for Master’s Degree and we are going through the steps to find out why we can’t have another baby. It seems like once we get through one curve of craziness we are hit right into another one. So I thought I would share with you the things that help me cope with change. the (sort of) part is because I am far from mastering them.

  1. Prayer

When you are going through a tough period in your life you have to use prayer. These past few months have been something that I would never suggest anyone go through. Losing everything and then being treated the way we have by our offenders has been heart wrenching, but it has made me a better prayer warrior and a little bit more keen on shutting up and listening to God for change.

Prayer is sometimes the only weapon we have against our enemy. Like right now my husband and I are tying to decide whether or not to take legal action. I have been praying about it and the Holy Spirit has laid it upon my heart to not pursue them in court. My first reaction is “What the heck? God, seriously? They can’t be allowed to do this. They have put us in tough spot and now You want me to just let them off the hook?” It doesn’t seem right but the only answer that was given to me:

Romans 12:19   Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Ug! But I wanted to kick some good for nothing landlord butt! I wanted to be like a Ninja Turtle and go in there and show them that this is wrong and they can’t do it again. But I guess that isn’t up to me. Of course then I asked, “But Lord! What if they bring a case again us?” This is what He gave:

Psalm 5:10-12

10 Make them bear their guilt, O God;
    let them fall by their own counsels;
because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out,
    for they have rebelled against you.

11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
    let them ever sing for joy,
and spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may exult in you.
12 For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
    you cover him with favor as with a shield.

It’s through prayer and God that we will be protected. Of course it might not be His will that we will not be served with papers but if we are then God will lead us through.

2. Worship

I know that one of the hardest things for me to do when I am in the time of trial is to worship. Worshiping when I am in pain seems like the biggest oxymoron there is. But you know what? It is the best time to worship. Worshipping God in the middle of a trial is the best way to get back at the devil. The devil can’t stay in a place where God is being worshipped. So in that moment where I feel low, I reach for the radio, my phone or just search deep in my heart sing out to God. Most of the time I really don’t believe the words I am saying right in that moment but I know they are true and if I keep saying them then their truth will shine through.

3. Community

Don’t go through anything alone. Heck, God made woman because it wasn’t good for him to be alone and it is the same still for us. Going through a trial alone is like starting a fire in the middle of a rain storm. There isn’t any help and you end up going no where in your journey. You might be looking like things are going in the right direction but if there isn’t someone else there to shield you from the rain then you will never get your fire going.

I have some great people in my life to mentor me and be there for me. They listen, give in instruction, and correct me when I am wrong. Just because I am a grown woman doesn’t mean I don’t need a swift kick in the butt and I know my support circle does it out of love. I would honestly want them to tell me I am being prideful then having to have God step in for me to get the picture.

So I would suggest getting some good solid people around you that will point in the right direction. Yes there is a time to complain and mope but that isn’t how you get a fire going either. Having a fire starting party with two people trying to start a fire in the rain is just as unproductive and you trying to do it by yourself. So find someone or two who will challenge you beyond your circumstance. Find those people who will cover you in the rain and help you with your technique and maybe giving a couple of dry pieces of wood to get your fire going. I am thankful God has given me the women in my life both those who are still on this earth and those who have past to be with Him.

The Sort Of Part:

So I hope those couple of things were helpful to you wherever you are in life. These things aren’t just good in trials but for everyday life. And that is where the sort of part comes in for me. It’s still easy for me for be in close contact with God in the storm but when the sun comes out and things get better I forget these things and start to back off on them so when the next storm comes in am end up in the rain by myself trying to start a fire and I have to start all over again.

My hope as I grow and mature in Christ that I will have these things either with all the time or have them very close by so that I can call on them right away and my wood won’t get all soaked. So I challenge you to go out and do these three things. Feel free to tell me how it goes. I love to read the comments left by readers and if you need someone to talk to feel free to email me at gracelynswritingcorner@gmail.com. God bless!

Look in a Mirror: Parenting 101

My last post was one that was really from my heart and my goal with it was to touch someone who is in the same boat as me. I wanted them to see that they are not alone but that God is still good in the end with everything.  Well this post isn’t like that one. Not that God isn’t good still but rather this post is about my child I have on earth and not the ones I don’t have.

As you know, I have this bombshell of a daughter and she is the world to me. She doesn’t get the title of bombshell for nothing. She is beautiful and smart and will knock the socks off an elephant with her drive and her will. None of which is bad but keeping it focused in the right direction is really hard. I have tried certain things that people have suggested but I was still left with this wonderful child who is screaming (sometimes literally) at me to lead her and raise her in the way that God desires. What I was trying wasn’t working.

The problem with it though is that I have no idea what I am doing half the time. As a young first time mom, I am still trying to figure out all the do’s and don’ts  when it comes to raising a child in this day and age. This thing called discipline in one that has been become so confusing that I have often missed a great training opportunity because society has made doing the “old fashion way” of parenting really hard. And the crazy part is that my two year old figured it out! She knows that she wouldn’t be taken behind the shed or put on a time out in public since I really can’t do any of my tools in public other than just let her sit there in the store and have a tantrum over not getting that piece of candy. (Please understand that I have an awesome daughter and I know that. I am talking about those moments when children have those episodes they do at times. Most of the time I can take her any where and she fine.)

That was until I went seminar from the National Center of Biblical Parenting, and introduced to me the heart way of raising children. My daughter isn’t a bad kid but she is a kid whose heart needs to led in the right way to have her grow into a confident adult. The ultimate goal as a Christian parent is to bring my daughter to the feet of Christ and have her accept Him as her Lord and Savior. So I picked up their book Parenting is Heart Work and have had a hard time putting it down. I haven’t made it very far to know exactly how to help change my daughter’s heart yet but so far the book has been great as explaining what it means to be a heart based parent instead of just a behavior modification based parent.

So I will continue reading and let you know how things go with my daughter, but there was one huge thing that I learned with reading this book. The reason I think the book is written the way it is because us parents need to look in the mirror and get our act together in order to be able to parent our children properly. I am reading going “when do we get about my child?” But really it is touching my heart. My daughter has a thing with anger so I need to ask myself how to I react when she has done something wrong? Is my heart in the right place to be that leader and example she needs? So the title is fitting in two ways. You can’t give what you don’t have.

I can’t wait to keep reading. I think I finally found the answer I have been waiting for in order to turn my daughter off the track I can see her going down. She might be only two but with something like anger only gets bigger as they do. If I can help her now with it and help myself with it just imagine what life will be like when she gets older. Imagine the work God could do through her if something like this doesn’t get a chance to really take root in her as a child. I am so excited to get started.

Do you have a child that you have tried you feel like everything but nothing has worked? Why not give this one a try and let me know how your results are? We can start our own little support group because parenting isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing that we can do but it is the most rewarding thing we could ever do.

So until next time, keep your head up and keep looking up. His grace is sufficient in all things.

Why I Want Him to Get Cut

This one is for all my PCOS and infertile friends out there. If you have been keeping up with my blog then you will know that I have PCOS and a miracle baby girl. But since having her, I have not been able to get pregnant. I know everyone says that I need to stay positive and not do anything drastic but it has almost been a year since my husband and I have been trying and I can say I am really starting to be become done.

Sex is not that much fun any more since he and I have decided to start preventing again which  means him having to pull out and we miss out on that couple connection or we just have to do no penetration at all. I hate saying that but I can’t keep pretending that this part of my life is fine. I love the other parts of my life but everyone gets to see that part. They can see my new house and all the help that has been graciously bestowed on it but what they don’t get to see is the agony not being able to have another baby (or in my case losing two before they ever got to live) has on me. Most of my friends have had their second baby and I am sitting here unable to do anything about my wanting another baby without any result.

I told my husband a few months ago the reason I want him to have a vasectomy isn’t because I didn’t want anymore kids it was because I couldn’t stand being pregnant for two weeks and then having the period from hell. I want to be able to have sex with my husband without being hurt at the end of the month. I know that broke his heart but he understood. Right now we are waiting to find out if our current incident with a possible pregnancy is going to work out. I started to bleed yesterday so I am sure that it will end up just like the other two.

So if you are going through the same thing as me don’t feel like wanting your husband to get cut is a failure. I mean I am blessed with a beautiful and passionate girl who has my day full so another baby wouldn’t have made things “easier” but it would have added that much more joy to our lives. I have a message into my OBGYN right now about any possible testing to see if anything can be done but sadly I don’t see much hope. All I know is that I want this part of my life to be as happy as the rest of my life. I want to smile and be happy when more people on Facebook announce they are expecting or tell me that “it was a total accident” or “they weren’t even trying”. So I think that it is time for my husband to go have his procedure.

I mean it isn’t like he wasn’t going to do it eventually any way but we were hoping that it would be after we had chosen to be done with kids and not to keep me from being in pain. So I will love my daughter with all my heart and we will have fun. And if God blesses this incident to actually turn out to be a pregnancy then I will praise Him just as much but with a lighter heart than I have now. I know God is good and He has reasons for everything He does. I just need to fight off the enemy’s lies that I am no good and worthless because I can’t have anymore children.

So please take heart. This post isn’t to be a downer but an encouragement. If you have been thinking that enough is enough then that is completely ok. We are not meant to live this life with a down spirit but a spirit of love, joy, peace… and so on. I have to keep reminding myself of that as my husband and I look into this new avenue that we weren’t thinking would be a topic for a few more years. I hope the best for everyone reading this and may God bless you!

 

Looking to the Future

So a few months ago, I wrote a post saying we might have mold in our rental. Well we did and in the process lost 99% of our possessions. I went from having a fully furnished and probably overly furnished home with everything that anyone could need to having a week’s worth of clothes and a few toys for my daughter. Then on top of it our car’s AC died so we went from one car to no car in a matter of minutes. I was completely devastated. But God really showed His hand through it all.

First, we were blessed with a table and chairs. I know that may not sound like much but to us it was  a big deal. Then God provided us a way to actually buy a house this time instead of having to rent again. After that, people started coming out of the wood work to donate items that we needed to us.

People were giving us simple stuff like bath towels to the big stuff like couches and furniture. Our new home was furnished before we even signed the papers. And God provided us a way through a gracious Uncle to buy a 2006 Toyota Matrix which is a huge upgrade from our 1997 Honda Accord. It was truly like a Hallmark movie where the poor family is left out in the rain and the mean management company ends up looking like idiots. It really did. We still haven’t gotten any compensation from them but God will work that out too. We are taking all necessary action to make sure what happened to us won’t happen to another family.

But now we are in our new place and we are so excited to see how God works things out in the future. Our house is the perfect little starter home which we and our daughter love. She is so excited to have some stability in her life. Grandma and Grandpa were awesome but there still is no place like home for a little girl.

If you are going through a tough season know that God does care about you. I know there were many things in this storm that I felt that God had just left me to my despair but that wasn’t true. It was just a lie that the enemy was trying to sell and I almost bought. If it wasn’t for some very strong Christian women in my life I would have pulled out my money and taken the lie to heart.

And if you don’t have a woman or man in your life right now then I will be it. Don’t you dare let Satan steal your joy and your peace! God loves you vey much and He is working this all out for your good! No matter what the storm is like outside, stay in the boat with Jesus and He will take you to the other side. Don’t lose hope and don’t forsake your God for the only other option is to drown. We can’t do anything on our own. We need Jesus and He is here for us.

nicesunset
Mark 4:37-40

37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” 39 And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”

These verses were my mindset perfectly. Are they your’s or do you have the faith to sail to the other side without fear? Maybe next time I will do better with my faith as I cross the sea with Jesus.

Thinking About Life

I know that I have it pretty good really. I have a roof (even though it’s my parent’s roof) over my head, a newer car, and a family that loves me. I am richer than most people in the world. Then why do I feel like I am so poor so often?  Probably because I am listening to the things of this world and letting the devil get in my head. When I am focused on Jesus, my thoughts are only gratitude but when they aren’t, things start to get scary. I am irritated and mean to the people I love and I can only see the things I don’t have instead of the things I do have.

It’s a a vicious cycle and it is hard to get off it some times, but it is possible to change things around if you have noticed you are on a similar cycle. The only thing that can get me out of the cycle is prayer and spending time with God. I know that life is busy and there are many days my prayer time is just “Lord, keep me safe today” while I am pulling out of the driveway. But I do try to keep my head in the right direction. My heart always wants to be with God and in His path but this world is tricky. It’s only with His help that I can do anything and most days get out of bed and get going 🙂

Learning How to Let Go and Trust God

Right now God is really testing me to see how I react to certain situations. Sadly, I am sure that I am failing. I know how I should react but that is not the way I have been reacting. Proverbs 15:1 says “ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” I wish my first reaction to trials are soft words but more than likely they are harsh and full of unneeded emotion. The only good thing is that normally it is not directed at my husband. He is actually my sounding board and guide on how to look at the situation differently.

How do I change this? Well a lot of it comes with maturity. I am on the my early twenties and have a lot to learn so maturity is something that is still coming day by day. There are some areas that I am mature in and nothing can shake me, but then there are others that my leaves will fall off if someone sneezes by me. Right now, we are in a season that is sneezing my leaves off. I was strong in the beginning but now that it has been a few weeks with not much progress, I am starting to fade. I am starting to become mad at God for not fixing this thing in our path even though He isn’t the one that put it there.

I need to remember to be mad at the right person. Satan is the one attacking us, not God. God is allowing it because, for some reason, it works into His greater plan for us. He knows our lying downs and uprisings. He knows when a flower withers and feeds the sparrows everyday. He made the world in six days and I know He holds mine in place. I am not too little for God to notice me. I am His child and I need to trust Him.

So I will continue on even though this afternoon all I wanted to do was walk into the woods and never come back. I am overwhelmed and I am trying to keep it as a burden on my shoulders. I am trying to give it over to God and not take it back up. I am human though and I like to have control, but that’s not how this works. I must trust and then listen and then obey.

Lord, please give the grace to do so. 🙂

House Buying Trouble

So we are moving out of our rental and looking to buy a house instead of renting again. The good news is that we can afford and got pre-approved for financing. The problem? We keep getting outbid by Bay Area investors with their cash offers. Why is this even more frustrating? These investors more than likely will not move into the homes. They flip them and sell them again. So they buy up the homes that young families like mine can afford and then flip them to make them outrageously expensive.

It’s really the cause for the crazy housing prices in Northern California and why young families are having such a hard time getting a start. And for everyone not in California, the Bay Area (San Fran, Berkley and so on) is NOT Northern California. There’s Northern California, the Bay Area, and Southern California. So don’t let anyone tell you different 🙂

So now that that is taken care of, back to the housing issue. Since we are having such a hard time finding a house, we are going to have to rent again somewhere but it has to have the option of month to month which is almost as impossible as buying a house. So we are in a sticky situation.

Now I know you are probably wondering, then where have you been living? I have been living with my parents with my tow year old and my husband has been with co-workers. We have been doing this for two weeks. I am not sure what God is doing right now. I know He is doing something but right now I can’t see is but I know it has be something for our good. Otherwise this is all for nothing. So We are just praying for guidance and grace as we continue moving on down this journey. 🙂

 

Praising God for Strong Willed Children

It’s funny. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had all these dreams and hopes of the person my daughter was going to be. I thought about all the pictures we would drawn and all the hide and seek games we would engage in. It was going to be perfect. There was just one thing that I didn’t think of. My cute, perfect daughter having a mind of her own.

Trust me, it’s not like I wanted a robot but my daughter’s personality is one that is a bit of a challenge for me. She is a super strong willed and stubborn child who makes the most simple requests (like don’t touch the blinds) into a big deal with yelling, screaming and me having to discipline her. If it was me as a child, the simple warning would have been enough. No not my child. For example with the blind, I simply asked her not to touch them. There was no yelling on my part or anything like that. I just asked her not to touch them. What did she do? She ran right back over to the blinds with her little hands behind her back and touched it with her toe. I then rolled my eyes because now this was going to be a fight that really didn’t mean anything except that she wanted to show that she was in charge.

So I gave her a little discipline and told her what would happen if she didn’t it again. This time she ran back to the blinds and put her hands behind her back. I was praying that she wouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to follow through on what I said but these acts of defiance have been getting worse so I have had to change my tactics with her. Sure enough, she didn’t touch it with her hand or foot, but rather she leaned forward and touched it with her nose. Now I had to do something. This wasn’t just a two year who didn’t know they were doing. She knew full well what the command was and twice disobeyed it.

After we had a discussion in her bedroom about her actions and why mommy was having to do what she was about to do because mommy loved her, we came out and I prayed that was the end of it. Nope! Now it seemed my child was on a mission more than ever to do everything opposite of what I said. And, in the end, there was a blind casualty. Half hour after the whole thing started, and many more timeouts and such later, she gave in and stopped touching the blinds.

I don’t get her mind set. I am an oldest so I like to follow the rules and do as I am told so that I don’t get in trouble. Technically my daughter is an oldest but not really – she is an only child. They are a whole new breed. I keep reading books on strong willed children and some things help but other things are a total waste of time.

Now you are probably thinking – she said that we need to praise God for strong willed children? And it is true! I do praise God for my child’s personality. It may not be a lot of fun to raise at times but it has  its good points too. My daughter is confident in herself, she can stand up for herself, and she can provide for herself. All of these traits will come in handy later in life as she goes into the real world and grows into an adult. My job is to whiled that strong will for good and not evil. Some days I know I do a terrible job and have totally missed the mark. There have been days I am so frustrated that I have my own tantrum in the living room while my daughter is having hers. There have been days where I have not shown my daughter the love of Jesus because I yelled and screamed at her out of frustration.

The point though is that this isn’t all there is meant to be in parenting strong willed children. My sister was one of these children that would make her life goal to drive my mother insane. I lost count of how many spankings she would get and it seemed to drive her up and not down. My poor mom didn’t know what to do, and, then a miracle happened, my sister turned into this wonderful adult. How did that happen? We don’t really know sometimes because it didn’t seem like she was taking any of my mom’s direction to heart but she was. And I have pray that my daughter is too.

It’s not all bad. Some times she can go a couple of days without an episode but when she has one right now it can last an hour. But we have so much fun otherwise. Now that she will be two in a couple of days, there’s so many things that she can do now that makes life fun. She is talking more and that is making life easier too. There is a lot of good! I just have to hold onto to those good times when we are in a season of not so good times. And some day, I will get to see the fruit of my labor. She will be a well rounded adult and society will get to see her fire as she goes on to do great things.

Do you have a little fire ball? Feel free to comment below on things you have done to direct them in the way they should go 🙂

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Almost two and she climbed all the way up there by herself. She really is amazing!