God is Good

“God is good”. Do you believe that? I have a hard time with it sometimes I will admit. It’s a topic that many will never say is true simply because they have never felt it. I can say it’s true because in the past I have felt Him. I have felt His arms around when I was hurting and crying out for acceptance and love. Then why is it so hard for me to feel at times now?

Maybe it’s because I am more grown up and more calloused with the world? Maybe I am too scared to trust anyone but myself? I don’t know but I do know that my trust relationship with God is one that always takes work on my side.

I know people say that if you trust someone that you will always trust them. I guess that I sort of true since I trust my husband 100% and my closest friends 100%, but why can’t I always trust God 100% if the time? Because I can really trust what I see. I trust my husband to come home and love me every night because he does and I can see him. I can see his face and hear his voice to know if there is something off about him, but with God I can’t see Him. I know He is there, but I so often forget to look for Him.

And when things go bad it’s even harder to trust Him. You want to believe that He is doing everything for my good, but I can see that at the moment. It might be years until I see the purpose behind the suffering I go through today. So I sit there and ask God why, when He isn’t ready to show to me what He is planning to do with me. I just have to sit and wait to maybe understand it someday.

But I just have to remember that God is always good even if it doesn’t feel like life is. He loves me even when I am crying my soul out or angry because life has thrown me another curve ball. He is good always.

 

Husbands, Your Wives Aren’t Crazy

Husbands, have you had your wife just blow up at you for what you appeared to be no reason? Well, let me tell you a little story to show that it might have not been for no reason.

I had a really bad day with my daughter one day, and I couldn’t wait for my husband to get home. When he did, I asked him to do something a certain way and he didn’t do it at all. I was so mad at him that I just lost it and he had no idea of why I was so mad.

Let’s rewind my day. My daughter had been difficult all day with showing me nothing but disrespect left and right. I wanted my husband to come home to help me out so much because then I would have someone who would do what I asked even if was something as simple as please don’t scream at the top of your lungs for no reason. But that wasn’t what happened. Instead, my husband disrespected me as well and I couldn’t take it anymore. The crazy part was that he didn’t mean to disrespect in the least. He just didn’t see the need for what I had asked of him at the time. He was just going to do it the next day, but that wasn’t my point. I had wanted it done now because I had asked him and he was the adult and should have respected me by doing it.

Any way, does my story sound familiar? Every couple has had a fight like this but this is most common for wives and husbands with kids. Besides money, most fights concern the kids and their well being, but what about the parent’s wellbeing? Parenting is the hardest thing anyone has to do. They might be cute as babies, sometimes, but as toddlers they are the biggest headache. Most moms won’t want to admit it but, if asked point blank, they probably would admit that they didn’t want to be moms anymore. So our day is hard enough without our husbands making it worse.

B there is good news to you husbands! Your wife is not crazy and there is a reason she is flying of the handle all the time. It’s more likely that she has been dealing with little monsters all day and then you come home and don’t help by then really disrespecting her in the process. How to fix it? It’s simple really. If your wife asks you to do something, do it just as she said even if it doesn’t make 100% sense to you. It’s not the fact that you did it that will make her feel loved and respected it’s more of like you value her because she is raising your kids and they don’t do that. They make her feel dumb and out of control no matter how hard she tries to keep on a good face.

She needs you to be in her corner and not on the opposing side. Show her that you do listen and do care by helping out when not asked or picking up the house to the way she likes it when she is finally able to go pee without kids following her around. You have a lot more power in your home than you realize. They say that the woman has the responsibility to set the tone for the home and this is very true, but she needs a sounding board. She sends out out a signal and if there isn’t anything to bounce off of she will just keep going until she does. You need to be that sounding board that she can count on and know that above all else you have her back.

Because us women aren’t crazy, we are tired and expected not to show it. We are expected to be the perfect examples for our children but we don’t even want to follow our own rules. We need our man to be there and do things to help us out.

So do you want to cut down on the fights you have with your wife? What did you do right before the last argument that set her off? Was is not doing something she asked? Or are the kids driving her so bonkers that she is tired of always having to come to you and yell at you that she needs help when you should have gotten up long ago?

Men have the power to keep their wife happy. The question is, are you willing to do what it takes? I’m not saying being a doormat because women hate that too. Here is a list to give you an idea of what I mean by you have the power to cause an argument or avoid one.

  • In the morning, afternoon, or evening, the kids are running a muck and your wife is trying to make breakfast or whatever while you are still lying in bed or sitting on the couch. Get up before she has to come storming in at the end of her rope and order you to help.
  • Don’t act like one of the kids when she is trying to do something.
  • Help by either picking up after the kids or keeping the house in the direction that she likes it. She picks up after the kids ALL day long and she doesn’t need you being as bad as them.
  • Cook dinner so she can go take a bath or shower without having to worry that the kids are going to burn the house down while she is gone.
  • If she asks you do something, do it. She would do it herself if she could because frankly that would be easier but she is trusting you to take care of it so that she doesn’t have to. Don’t trample the gift by ignoring her or doing it in a completely different way.
  • When she is frazzled, take the kids out of the house. Most women need some time to themselves, and it doesn’t matter if they work or not. They need time to just sit and not have any demands on them. You might have just worked all day but here is a BIG way to keep from having arguments, and that is take the kids so your wife doesn’t get blown out.

Have you thought of some that aren’t here? Do them and see the difference in your home. Your wife needs love and your respect just as much as you need it from her. So be a good sounding board and be there for her so that she can be a good wife to you and good mother to your children.

 

 

How to Not Give Up on Life

So this past week has been a crazy one in the fact that the bug of the year has gone through my whole household. You know, the yucky one with the coughing, high fever, chills, and nose that won’t stop running for you to reach over and get a new tissue? Yeah that one. Even my toddle has it. Poor baby girl ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But I think that it has hit me the hardest next to my daughter.

My husband was lucky and only got the dry cough and runny nose part but I got the 103ish degree fever, blizzard feeling chills, and body wrenching cough. It was a rough couple of days since I had to wait to see my nutritionist. I got really excited the morning my fever had broke, but that only lasted for twelve hours and I was back to being wrapped in three blankets because I was so “cold” but my husband could have cooked dinner on my forehead by that next evening.

I just laid on my couch unable to open my eyes because they burned so bad and hot acid tears seeped through. It may not sound like a big deal to you, but, if you have been following my blog for any length of time, this is not my first recent encounter with having to fight for my life, my livelihood, and my family.

2016 I have deemed the year of The Fight. I’ll recap really quickly for anyone who is new.

  • March – My husband almost died from a “mysterious virus”
  • April – I got a upper respiratory cold and two weeks later was admitted in the hospital with 89% oxygen levels because of pneumonia. I was then sent home with oxygen since my lungs were so damaged they couldn’t function right on their own. After being home for two days, I wasn’t getting better, I was getting worse again and we finally figured it out. We had to flee the rental due to black toxic mold.
  • May – July – Proceeded to fight for was right but it was useless. Both the management company and our landlord decided not to the right thing and take care of us. Rather they made it worse by breaking law after law to cover up the fact that there was mold in the home. (We might be young, but we have been screwed enough that we know renter’s rights pretty well and they breeched the lease at least three times with non notified entry.) It got to the point that we had to hire an attorney to represent us, but there was little she could do since there are no solid mold laws in California except ward off our landlord suing us. After doing some intense research, the only thing that could be done with our items was to discard them, but no one was willing to step foot in the home knowing of the black mold so we just left most of it and only took what we thought we could save. (Side note: It was futile. Nothing we own now is from the old home. EVERYTHING had to be throw away that wasn’t glass, hard porcelain, or metal.) So in total we lost everything we had ever owned and had to replace everything which has led us to be in credit card debit for the first time in our marriage.
  • July – We were blessed to be able to buy a home that we are still praying is a safe place for us to heal from the toxic mold poisoning, but we literally moved in with the clothes in our bags and a few things that people had given to us. Thankfully though my husband works with a lot of awesome people and they fulfilled the majority of what we needed. We would still probably be watching TV on the floor if it wasn’t for them.
  • August – December – Now was the really fight debt and it seems like we will never win. Satan doesn’t like God’s kids to be happy and one of the obstacles we had to face immediately were things with the house we bought. The previous owners did nothing to maintain it and we are not going to do what all of our landlords did with short cutting repairs. So With the home repairs, the attorney, another thing that had come up, and the credit card, we have been fighting to stay afloat without going crazy.

Now many of you are thinking “Well that is just life”, and you are correct. Life throws things at you and that is just how it goes, but to have a Job year is only something that someone who has had one can fully understand. You get to the point where hope seems to be something of fairytales and you are constantly keeping a look out for what could go wrong next. You keep going until you reach a breaking point, and, for me, it was this bug.

All I could think about was that I didn’t want to keep fighting anymore. I just wanted to be with Jesus and have it all be over. My husband could see it in my body language and forbade me from having the thoughts he knew were going through my head because he had had the same ones start last year. He told me how much I am needed and that the fight isn’t all in vain. He kept reminding me of how Emma needed her mommy. I knew he was right, but there was a part of me that was so tired.

It was like those movies you see where the character has the choice to either drown or decide to fight back the surface because they aren’t done living yet? It was kind of like that. I literally couldn’t move but I just kept uttering the word “Jesus”. I knew I couldn’t fight anymore. I needed Jesus to fight for me. I then was stilled and fell asleep.

I was awoken by my bladder a few hours later and my fever was gone, the chills were gone, I wasn’t coughing and was able to think straight. It was literally like God had taken over my body and healed me to be able to have the strength to fight again, and I did. I was able to go see my nutritionist that next day and she got me on some things that have really turned it around for me.

So The whole point of this blog post was just to encourage you that when are truly weak Jesus is strong. He is right there to help you and all He wants to hear is to have you call out to Him. I was trying to do it on my own and I lost. I have to remember to let Jesus take my burden. I can’t change the past but I can help the future my trusting in Him that He works everything out for my good, even with this awful bug.

Putting Respecting My Husband into Action

As women, the hardest thing to do in marriage is respect your husband in everything, and I mean in everything. I can say that because I just had to exercise it recently. See, one thing about losing everything means that you have to replace everything, and, even with all of the gracious people in our lives, we still had to use a credit card to make it. So we have this card and other things from last year when we lost everything due to black mold in a rental hanging over out heads, and the dollar in California doesn’t stretch like… at all. So with one income and owning a house and debt, it can be tight at times to purchase anything big that wasn’t already budgeted.

They say that the number one reason why people fight is because of money and they are so right. This is the first time in our marriage where money has been a problem. Up until now we had been debt free and now we are like the normal American family. Big time sad face.

So the thing that made me have to practice again all the things I have learned about respecting my husband had to do with a rather expensive item that would add value to our lives except in the finance department. It would have put us in total about $4,000 more in debt, but I really wanted it. It would have been something that has been needed in this house we bought since simple things like vacuuming the carpet and changing out the air filter seemed to be beneath the previous owners. But we just couldn’t afford it.

Needless to say, when my husband told me this, I was and still am crushed. It’s hard being a season of the answer always being “no” and you wonder when the answer will ever be “yes” again, but it’s that time that you really grow. Let me tell you that I personally hate growing because it usually involves pain and irritation and I can see the Lord is growing me in the area of respecting my husband even when I 100% don’t agree with him. You can only imagine how hard that is for me since I wanted this amazing item so much but my husband said “no”.

So I have a choice. I could go the easy route and pout about not getting it, which is what I really want to do, but what really is the point. It’s hard enough on my husband the fact that his paycheck isn’t providing like it used to, and he doesn’t need me pouting and whining at what he can’t provide for me. No wonder depression in men are on the rise. They want to provide and work hard, but their circumstances make it hard (like 20% of your income going to taxes cough cough) they don’t need their wives complaining and being a constant reminder of their failures.

Which will I choose? I know which one I want, but it’s super hard right now. It’s hard to be told no. I guess I see that I can even have tantrums like my almost three year old. All I want to do is throw myself on the ground and say that my life sucks, but I know that isn’t true. I have been blessed with so much that I would need ten blog posts to write them all. So I wasn’t able to the get the thing I wanted. It doesn’t mean that I may never get it. It’s slim since my husband needs to get a car first but maybe when my daughter is out of the house… Oh I hope I don’t have to wait fifteen years to get it. That would suck I have to say, but I know that my husband is really only looking for all of our best interests.

I pray that God will give me the strength to do the right thing and respect my husband from being the leader of his home and being a good steward of the money that he does make. That includes not buying the things that he says no to no matter how much I want them.

Have you had a time where you had to submit and respect your husband? How did it turn out? Did God bless you for it? I could use a little but of encouragement in this area.

Until next time ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Do I Really Need Facebook?

Checking your Facebook every fifteen minutes? Feel like you never put your phone down? Yeah, that was me. I was realizing that I was on my phone all the time when I wasn’t taking care of my daughter. It was rather pathetic. Not only that but I was also getting angry at all the political stuff going on in America before and after the election. I’ll jut say that I am not a part of the protesting group so I get pretty annoyed. So I decided that I was going take a break from social media apps and see how it will affect my life. That means I only can be on Facebook when I am on a computer.

facebook logo

I have done it for one day and I can say that it has already enhanced my life. My daughter is happier already because ย I am not on my phone and we actually watched a whole movie together. My husband likes it since I wasn’t all pissed off yesterday at things that I really can’t change. And I was happier since my family was happy.

Is social media really enhancing your life or just adding stress to it? Why don’t you join me and not be on it so much and see how our lives are better for everyone. I’ll keep you updated on how it’s going for me ๐Ÿ™‚

I Am a Goat and a Sheep

I had a funny thought today. I saw on Facebook that people are sheep and just follow whatever someone says. Well, I was raised to have critical thinking skills so in that case I don’t usually go with something just because someone told me to. I think about the situation and come with a reaction based on my own opinion shaped by information I am given. In that case I am a goat. But the Bible says that I am a sheep, and I am. How can I be both? Let me explain how it is possible.

See, we people are sheep because we walk around not really knowing what is going on. Ok, for all you of who have never seen a sheep, the reason why people are called sheep is because sheep are stupid. They have no ability really of taking care of themselves. I had growing up a couple of sheep and the analogy finally made sense. Our sheep were so dumb that they would run away when we threw the hay over the fence and, if the goats didn’t eat it, the sheep would have probably starved because they didn’t have the common sense to come see what we fed them. They needed leadership to know what to do, and that is how Christians are supposed to be. We are read God’s Word and live by Him in order to know how to live our lives.

But there is a switch that happens when it comes to people who go against the grain in the world whether or not they are Christians and they are called goats. How to explain a goat? I would say smart, intelligent, troublesome, loud, and bold. They are awesome animals really. I like them personally more than sheep since they do have a mind in their head. But they are very hard to herd. If a goat wants to go one direction, guess what, it will only go in that direction no matter how much grain or hay you shake in their face. That is why in the Christian terms, unsaved people are called goats. They think they can do it on their own and more than like they will be eaten because they didn’t listen to the goat herder.

But where does that leave me? I am a Christian but I go against almost all of the culture around me both locally and on a wide spread scale. I don’t participate in local logic like the way city dwellers treat the world around them, and I don’t like the widespread issues like abortion. My Facebook wall shows that I am right winged and hate it when entitled people whine and complain when they don’t get their way, but the world around me says that I should hate white people, cry because my presidential candidate didn’t win, have so much debt to keep up with the Jones’ I should be drowning and should be ashamed to be an American. Most people just go with the flow and live their whole without having a single individual thought in their lives.

You have heard the analogy of the five monkeys right? five monkeys are put in a room with a banana on top of a ladder, but whenever a monkey goes up he is sprayed with water as are the rest of the monkeys. So whenever a monkey goes up, the rest start to attack him because they don’t want to be sprayed with water. Then slowly all the monkeys are replaced and each time a new monkey comes in, they rest attack them. When the experiment was at the end all five new monkeys wouldn’t climb the ladder but none of the monkeys really knew why. It was always done that way. That is how our culture has been formed in the last fifty years. We have strayed from the roots because someone like me decided to climb the ladder anyway and find out that the banana was worth it.

So what am I? I am a rebel and a follower. I am both!

I am a sheep because when it comes to life I need the direction of Jesus to show me how to live and love on people which then turns me into a goat because it is the opposite of what the culture around me says. How’s that for a mind bender? Never thought you could be two animals at once, huh? What would I be called then? A sheot? A geep? A goeep? I don’t know, but it is a very interesting animal. I can lead and follow, I can talk and listen, I can make decisions by thinking through but being open to other people’s ideas. I think being a sheot isn’t so bad. Are you with me? ๐Ÿ™‚

Still Missing My Baby and Trying to Heal

Today was a really great day, but it now seems like it is ending in tears. Not because anything bad happened (actually something really great happened) but because it shows me that I still have some healing to do. I have been doing really well moving on with my life after my miscarriage going on two months ago, but I have to patient with myself and now that it’s only been two months since we said goodbye to our baby.

So the good thing that happened is that I got to see one of my best friends who lives about eight hours away, and we had a great time. ย This friend just happens to be pregnant and our babies were due two days apart. Praise God that her pregnancy is going well and life is good for them. We laughed, talked about their baby, and other thing s that are going on in both our lives since we last got together.What the hard part was that after they left, I started having those physical feelings of being pregnant. My breasts hurt, I was nauseated, and I was hardly able to keep my eyes open. All of my main symptoms with my last pregnancy, and quickly was followed by tears.

How was this all possible when I am not pregnant? Simple, your hormones are very powerful and they can sense things around you and mine picked up on the fact my friend is pregnant and it misses being pregnant. The symptoms are finally now wearing off thankfully since my husband and I made the decision to not try again due to the results of our baby’s pathology report so it wouldn’t like we would be really excited if I was pregnant so soon after a D&C. It would be heartbreaking since the odds of it ending the same way as our last four would be rather high. It would be a thing that would be a stress and worry and not a thing of joy and happiness that a new baby should bring.

What it just proved to me was how much I miss my baby and how far I have left to heal. Someday I will be healed but right now the wounds are still there. If you are same place, we are in this together. It doesn’t happen over night and God is with me every step of the way. I still don’t understand why this has happened to us and I probably never will this side of heaven. All I know is that I have to keep the faith and enjoy the family He has given me.

God bless!