How to Not Give Up on Life

So this past week has been a crazy one in the fact that the bug of the year has gone through my whole household. You know, the yucky one with the coughing, high fever, chills, and nose that won’t stop running for you to reach over and get a new tissue? Yeah that one. Even my toddle has it. Poor baby girl 😦 But I think that it has hit me the hardest next to my daughter.

My husband was lucky and only got the dry cough and runny nose part but I got the 103ish degree fever, blizzard feeling chills, and body wrenching cough. It was a rough couple of days since I had to wait to see my nutritionist. I got really excited the morning my fever had broke, but that only lasted for twelve hours and I was back to being wrapped in three blankets because I was so “cold” but my husband could have cooked dinner on my forehead by that next evening.

I just laid on my couch unable to open my eyes because they burned so bad and hot acid tears seeped through. It may not sound like a big deal to you, but, if you have been following my blog for any length of time, this is not my first recent encounter with having to fight for my life, my livelihood, and my family.

2016 I have deemed the year of The Fight. I’ll recap really quickly for anyone who is new.

  • March – My husband almost died from a “mysterious virus”
  • April – I got a upper respiratory cold and two weeks later was admitted in the hospital with 89% oxygen levels because of pneumonia. I was then sent home with oxygen since my lungs were so damaged they couldn’t function right on their own. After being home for two days, I wasn’t getting better, I was getting worse again and we finally figured it out. We had to flee the rental due to black toxic mold.
  • May – July – Proceeded to fight for was right but it was useless. Both the management company and our landlord decided not to the right thing and take care of us. Rather they made it worse by breaking law after law to cover up the fact that there was mold in the home. (We might be young, but we have been screwed enough that we know renter’s rights pretty well and they breeched the lease at least three times with non notified entry.) It got to the point that we had to hire an attorney to represent us, but there was little she could do since there are no solid mold laws in California except ward off our landlord suing us. After doing some intense research, the only thing that could be done with our items was to discard them, but no one was willing to step foot in the home knowing of the black mold so we just left most of it and only took what we thought we could save. (Side note: It was futile. Nothing we own now is from the old home. EVERYTHING had to be throw away that wasn’t glass, hard porcelain, or metal.) So in total we lost everything we had ever owned and had to replace everything which has led us to be in credit card debit for the first time in our marriage.
  • July – We were blessed to be able to buy a home that we are still praying is a safe place for us to heal from the toxic mold poisoning, but we literally moved in with the clothes in our bags and a few things that people had given to us. Thankfully though my husband works with a lot of awesome people and they fulfilled the majority of what we needed. We would still probably be watching TV on the floor if it wasn’t for them.
  • August – December – Now was the really fight debt and it seems like we will never win. Satan doesn’t like God’s kids to be happy and one of the obstacles we had to face immediately were things with the house we bought. The previous owners did nothing to maintain it and we are not going to do what all of our landlords did with short cutting repairs. So With the home repairs, the attorney, another thing that had come up, and the credit card, we have been fighting to stay afloat without going crazy.

Now many of you are thinking “Well that is just life”, and you are correct. Life throws things at you and that is just how it goes, but to have a Job year is only something that someone who has had one can fully understand. You get to the point where hope seems to be something of fairytales and you are constantly keeping a look out for what could go wrong next. You keep going until you reach a breaking point, and, for me, it was this bug.

All I could think about was that I didn’t want to keep fighting anymore. I just wanted to be with Jesus and have it all be over. My husband could see it in my body language and forbade me from having the thoughts he knew were going through my head because he had had the same ones start last year. He told me how much I am needed and that the fight isn’t all in vain. He kept reminding me of how Emma needed her mommy. I knew he was right, but there was a part of me that was so tired.

It was like those movies you see where the character has the choice to either drown or decide to fight back the surface because they aren’t done living yet? It was kind of like that. I literally couldn’t move but I just kept uttering the word “Jesus”. I knew I couldn’t fight anymore. I needed Jesus to fight for me. I then was stilled and fell asleep.

I was awoken by my bladder a few hours later and my fever was gone, the chills were gone, I wasn’t coughing and was able to think straight. It was literally like God had taken over my body and healed me to be able to have the strength to fight again, and I did. I was able to go see my nutritionist that next day and she got me on some things that have really turned it around for me.

So The whole point of this blog post was just to encourage you that when are truly weak Jesus is strong. He is right there to help you and all He wants to hear is to have you call out to Him. I was trying to do it on my own and I lost. I have to remember to let Jesus take my burden. I can’t change the past but I can help the future my trusting in Him that He works everything out for my good, even with this awful bug.

The Importance of Community

I can just live me, myself and I. That’s what I thought growing up. But I couldn’t be more wrong. We need community to survive. I mean look at what happened to Tom Hanks on Cast Away! You can’t live forever on a deserted island for your whole life.

I never thought much about it but now I can see the importance of community and friendships on a daily basis. I just had coffee with a sweet friend of mine on day and a crochet hang out with another and it was so awesome! If I just hid in my house and became a hermit, I don’t even want to think about what an unhappy person I would be.

Now these relationships take work. I have a friend who moved across the country and sadly I don’t cultivate that relationship as much as a should since she isn’t local any more. But that doesn’t mean that having friends local will make the relationships blossom any more. You need to take time out for people and get to know them. Show them that they matter to you. Because at the end of our road, we want people to come to our funeral right?

OK, maybe that isn’t the only reason to have friends, but think about it. Wouldn’t that be depressing if no one came to your funeral because you had not taken the time to invest in anyone but yourself? Because having a  group of friends around you will make you better (as long as they are the right friends as mentioned in my blog posts Love Your Body Part 6 and Love Your Body Part 7 ).

So go create your own community and enjoy those special people in your life 🙂

Married on Valentine’s Day

I remember when I was single that I wasn’t a fan of Valentine’s Day. All I wanted was to have a man (or really a boy back then) call me his Valentine. Looking back I now see how silly that was. I was so worried about not having a Valentine, I would rather sit an pine about how unhappy I was when really I wasn’t. I had a Valentine and He is still my Valentine.

Because it isn’t just singles who are sad on Valentine’s Day. There are so many women (and men) out there who are in a relationship that unfulfilling and unhappy. To them, it would be better if they were single since then they could go out a find a different Valentine. Now I hope that they don’t do that since adultery is still adultery and God looks down on that but it can’t stop anyone from thinking of doing it. And the sad part is that they have forgotten Who their Valentine really is.

Now I am super blessed to have a wonderful husband and thriving marriage, but we are still young and we have a lot to learn. Unless we stick together and work our marriage correctly, we will turn into bitter enemies and if I recall that wasn’t in my wedding vows. Marriage is work but to some people it feels like a dungeon.

So why bring this up on the most romantic day of the year? Simple. It is to point out that being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a negative but and positive and so it being in an unhappy marriage because we all have the same Valentine! Jesus Christ has given us the best Valentine ever and so often we (especially us women) forget about it and concentrate on the world. It doesn’t matter what kind of Valentine you have on earth because, if you believe in Jesus, He is your Valentine always. He gave you not red roses but His blood on the cross for your sins. He rose on the third day and now is sitting at the right hand of the Father waiting until you are with Him for eternity.

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Found this picture and thought it was pretty on morguefile.com. It reminded me of Heaven.

Don’t have Jesus? That is fine because He knows you already and is waiting for you to join Him faith. There’s no code or password you need to know to receive Jesus as your Savior. You just need to believe and say He is your Savior. That’s it and for now on you will always have a Valentine to celebrate with.

I am lucky because I now have three Valentine’s but I will always enjoy my first Valentine the most. He was there for me in the past, He is there for me right now and He will be there for me in the future.

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤

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We love all the readers for this blog and pray you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day 🙂