Total Mommy Fail

So yesterday, after my triumphant post, I had the afternoon that just went wrong. My husband came home sick, my daughter pushed every button I have and my plans for the evening got turned upside down. I tried my best to keep my wits about m but I lost it. I actually said that “I that didn’t want to be a mom anymore”. Of course that isn’t true. I would never trade being able to back to being free for my daughter, I wouldn’t do it. She is the best thing that happened to me.

So why did I say that then? Because I was in a mood and my tongue got the best of me, I hurt my daughter’s feelings and that was wrong of me. It was total mommy fail. I wish it wasn’t so but I have to say that I am not perfect. I yelled at my precious daughter for something that really wasn’t her fault. She was tired, I was tired and we both ended up in tears. It was really pathetic to see and I really was the one who needed the scolding and not my daughter.

So I had to apologize to my daughter and pray for God’s forgiveness for my actions. I know that I need to be a better mom to her. I know I have a lot to learn. I am not a bad mom but I need to be better. Only by the grace of God will I be able to be any good as a mother. Only with His help will my daughter become the woman that she is meant to be. I will do my best to raise her but she is God’s girl, and I need to do better. Show her that I love her as much as I do even when I am not having a good day. In those moments, I just need to stop and hug her. I need to forget what I am doing to show her that I love her. That is what God does for me, therefore I need to do the same for her.

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How could I ever be upset with a little face like this? Inconceivable!

When God Says You Are Not Going to Have a Brownie

So, as most women, my time of the month is a approaching and something that helps me is a good plate of brownies. I found this awesome recipe on Pintrest and made them for my father in law for his birthday. They turned out great! So I want to make them again.

I had had an off day in the kitchen for most of the day. Everything I cooked seemed to come out wrong or take twice as long to cook. And the same went for the brownies. I knew healthwise I didn’t need the brownies, but they were gluten and dairy free and over all rather healthy. They were made with high quality chips and cocoa and organic coconut oil. Surely I would be allowed to have one?

Well I make the batter and it doesn’t look right. I am pretty I put too much coconut oil in but I don’t want to waste so I put them in the oven. An hour later (and reinserting and resetting the timer 4 times) they are looking somewhat done and so I pulled them out to let them cool. Only they turned out like gravel.

So I guess the point of this post is, if you know you are not supposed to have something, then even God can prevent you for eating it. Ok, maybe not that bad. I guess it more to mourn the fact that I didn’t get any brownies last night and I am sad. Maybe next time the recipe will come out better 🙂