Where is She Going With This?

   Is it just me or does everyone around you seem like they have their life in order? Like the blessings just keep falling on them even though according to your tally sheet they shouldn’t? I know that is me right now and I am not even too proud to say I’m​ jealous of it. I know I shouldn’t be but there is that sting of seeing someone not live for God and have everything they want while my husband and I work hard and struggle to get back to where we were before the horrific year of 2016 happened. We live pay check to pay check and others seem to have so much money they don’t know what to do with it. I know exactly what they can do with it, but no one ever seems to offer.

   I happen to know quite a few people who could completely change our financial picture and they wouldn’t even notice the money was gone. It would mean everything to us but they just might have to actually write it down in an accountant book. But no one offers. No says “hey, I know you guys have really tried your best to get back what you lost. What is the amount you need to pay off the debt you have now due to your huge loss last year?”

   Now granted that people have offered us things and time which I am EXTREMELY thankful for because it would have put us farther in debt of we had to purchase those things too. One thing I do know is that if one more person says “oh, I’ll pray that the money issues work out for you” I am going to scream. Maybe you are the person God wants to use to bless us and you are refusing to do what He asks?

   Now this isn’t a plea for money (even though my dream is to receive a donation for our debt but let’s get real) but rather a post to open your eyes to those around you. I know that if I had the money to spend and knew the family was truly under a hard time and not habit then I would write them a check to help if not wipe out their debt. I would want to share the love and compassion in the aspect that so far hasn’t been extended to us. Maybe that’s why God keeps not blessing us right now in being able to pay off debt and rather just keeps laying down more issues in our lap? Our A/C died day two of the giant heat wave hitting the west coast so that’s really enjoyable at the moment with a toddler.

   Once again my husband and I are living separately with me at my wonderful wonderful parents and he’s home and getting rides from a wonderful wonderful friend to work so I can have our one car. It’s just another summer of hard life.

  So what is my point? Am I a victim? No since I can’t stand that mentality. What I am saying is that I am an example. There are others around you who could really use that spare cash burning a hole in your pocket. That is what Christians are supposed to do with loving their neighbor is help them out however they need and, if you can help someone, you should. You not only will be helping a family who will be thankful forever but you will be helping yourself in knowing you are showing what the hand and feet of Jesus look like.

  All in all be generous. Love your fellow brothers or sisters in Christ. You will actually reap the benefit more then they will. God bless 🙂

As We Grow As a Couple

Do you feel stuck where you are in your relationship with your spouse? Does it feel like you are still in the same place maybe financially like you were when you got married? I have to say that lately that has been the case for me. I look at our budget and think “man things looked better when we were first married and poor”. But were they?

When we pulled into church yesterday, I saw a cute couple cuddling in the guy’s car. They weren’t being inappropriate or anything. The girl was just leaning on the guy’s shoulder and he had his arm around her. It was actually really cute and reminded me of how my husband and I were when we were dating and first married.

The car the couple was in was older than me but they were happy. It got me thinking because when my husband and I got married, church mice were richer. We both worked but we were still in school and making minimum wage. (Depending on when and where you are reading this, that would be $9-$10/hour at the time.) We lived in the lower area of town and literally lived on love and kisses. Just like that couple was right now unless they are still living at home and then they don’t quite know what the real world is like.

Sometimes I still feel like that woman who is in the old car with nothing but my husband’s and mine’s dreams to keep the wheels turning, but am I still there? No. I am a home owner, we have a car with a 1 in front number of its age, we have a child, and he is now making more than double what he was when I met him. So why do I feel stuck?

Because honestly life sucks. We got dealt a really rough hand last year and we still haven’t recovered. We are still paying off debt that has happened and we will probably until next summer, but does that mean we are stuck? I hope not. Is it easy? No. We were setup how we were supposed to be financially until last year and now it has been blown to you know where. Will we get back there? Yes. I have hope we will.

How do I know that? Because we are not the same kids sitting in that old car living off love. We have experience now to where we can actually be the ones to give advice and encouragement. We have been through many things already and we still have many more in the future. It was just a nice reminder for me to see where we used to be so that I can see what I have now and be thankful for it.

Is it exactly what I want? No. Am I living in the area I really want to be in or have two cars like everyone else? No, but now that I have finally gone back to school I have a reason to power through it. I have a goal that I want to meet and it will keep me motivated along side remembering where we have come from.

Do you have some wisdom that you need to share about life and sticking with it? If so, feel free to comment below. I would love to hear from you.

What Bloggers Should Mention About Etsy

If you are like me, you want to find a way to earn some extra cash. Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) can be tricky when it comes to making money since you are probably a SAHM because you don’t want to pay for child care. There are all sorts of Pinterest post about side hustling and the biggest one they push is Etsy.

Now, I had a shop and I love making and creating but when it comes to needing to make some money it’s not always the best answer. Here are three reasons why.

 You need money to get started

This was something at first wasn’t a huge deal until I tried to branch out and add things to my shop to keep up with the trends. So if you are short on cash, you might not want to do Etsy unless you have a stock pile of stuff somewhere. And even though you have spent all this money, you have no idea how long (if ever) it will take to make it back.

You need time

 Now if you happen to have a crap ton of products in your closet or something then you might not have this issue. But I realized that there was an issue here. The majority of my products were crocheted and it takes me 6 hours to make a simple baby blanket. It costs me $15 in supplies and I charge $30 for it. So in total, I make $2.50/hour. Can you see where it is a little tough at times? I mean I love crocheting so I didn’t mind except when I didn’t get any orders and that leads to the last point.

It takes a lot of time promoting the shop

And I mean A LOT of time. You have to do Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter to get the word out for free and then Etsy promotion that you can pay for. But then again, if you want promotion on the social sites then you have to pay for those too which means more money that you probably don’t have. And you have to post all the time to make sure you are getting full exposure so it was a full time job to just get the exposure out and even then I wasn’t getting the buyers. So if you have a full time job, it would rather tricky to do all the posting.

Now I don’t want you to think that I hate Etsy or anything because I don’t. I love my shop but I just had a tough time keeping up with the already established shops. And I didn’t have the time with raising my daughter and life to do it “right”.

So, before you open a shop, I would suggest you to really think about if you have the time to do the shop for the little reward you probably will get. I would suggest you go and do craft fairs instead. I know they only really come around during Christmas time but the buyers are there I you will have better luck.

Happy crafting! 🙂

Putting Respecting My Husband into Action

As women, the hardest thing to do in marriage is respect your husband in everything, and I mean in everything. I can say that because I just had to exercise it recently. See, one thing about losing everything means that you have to replace everything, and, even with all of the gracious people in our lives, we still had to use a credit card to make it. So we have this card and other things from last year when we lost everything due to black mold in a rental hanging over out heads, and the dollar in California doesn’t stretch like… at all. So with one income and owning a house and debt, it can be tight at times to purchase anything big that wasn’t already budgeted.

They say that the number one reason why people fight is because of money and they are so right. This is the first time in our marriage where money has been a problem. Up until now we had been debt free and now we are like the normal American family. Big time sad face.

So the thing that made me have to practice again all the things I have learned about respecting my husband had to do with a rather expensive item that would add value to our lives except in the finance department. It would have put us in total about $4,000 more in debt, but I really wanted it. It would have been something that has been needed in this house we bought since simple things like vacuuming the carpet and changing out the air filter seemed to be beneath the previous owners. But we just couldn’t afford it.

Needless to say, when my husband told me this, I was and still am crushed. It’s hard being a season of the answer always being “no” and you wonder when the answer will ever be “yes” again, but it’s that time that you really grow. Let me tell you that I personally hate growing because it usually involves pain and irritation and I can see the Lord is growing me in the area of respecting my husband even when I 100% don’t agree with him. You can only imagine how hard that is for me since I wanted this amazing item so much but my husband said “no”.

So I have a choice. I could go the easy route and pout about not getting it, which is what I really want to do, but what really is the point. It’s hard enough on my husband the fact that his paycheck isn’t providing like it used to, and he doesn’t need me pouting and whining at what he can’t provide for me. No wonder depression in men are on the rise. They want to provide and work hard, but their circumstances make it hard (like 20% of your income going to taxes cough cough) they don’t need their wives complaining and being a constant reminder of their failures.

Which will I choose? I know which one I want, but it’s super hard right now. It’s hard to be told no. I guess I see that I can even have tantrums like my almost three year old. All I want to do is throw myself on the ground and say that my life sucks, but I know that isn’t true. I have been blessed with so much that I would need ten blog posts to write them all. So I wasn’t able to the get the thing I wanted. It doesn’t mean that I may never get it. It’s slim since my husband needs to get a car first but maybe when my daughter is out of the house… Oh I hope I don’t have to wait fifteen years to get it. That would suck I have to say, but I know that my husband is really only looking for all of our best interests.

I pray that God will give me the strength to do the right thing and respect my husband from being the leader of his home and being a good steward of the money that he does make. That includes not buying the things that he says no to no matter how much I want them.

Have you had a time where you had to submit and respect your husband? How did it turn out? Did God bless you for it? I could use a little but of encouragement in this area.

Until next time 🙂