When You Need to Be Happy For Others

I had an interesting thing happen to me this weekend. I was blessed to be invited to one of my dear friend’s baby shower for second son who is due in April. It was interesting because her first son and my daughter are only three days a part. So we were pregnant at the same time in 2014 but this time we aren’t, and everyone knows why. She has had her own road, and, trust me, I am SUPER happy for her and her husband. They are great friends and parents and I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

Where the test comes in is, am I happy without jealousy? You can be happy for someone but still have jealousy in your heart. I remember, before I was pregnant with my daughter, we were told we were never going to be able to conceive a baby, and you know those times where you are told you can’t have something it seems like Satan shoves it in your face? Well that is what happened. It seemed like with every turn I took there was another pregnant woman who was more than likely complaining about how much her pregnancy was inconveniencing her life. I used to get so made at that because this woman was complaining about something that I wanted to go through and couldn’t. I had to learn to not let it get to me and just let it go.

That was the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. It was a real growing time for me in my life to not be angry and not to turn bitter. I had to spend a lot of time in prayer and surround myself with the right kind of people or I would have become a not very nice person to be around. I had to look at the women’s faces and the not the bulging bellies in front of me. Only then was I able to be happy for them.

Well fast forward two years, I was blessed with a miracle baby, (I am going to write a post on that next so stay tuned) and she is about to turn two. I am so blessed and excited to be with this little girl everyday. I am so thankful that God gave her to me. I just have to be OK with the fact that she might be our only blessing. Just because God gave her one miracle baby doesn’t mean that I am entitled to another one. I have to be able to be happy and content with what I have to be able to be blessed  more. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean having another child. It could mean my daughter going to school or my husband getting a job promotion. As long as my hands are full, I can’t expect to take on any more. And that is how God works with his blessings.

All that to say, when I went to the baby shower, I had a choice. I could be honestly happy for my friend and the fact that God has blessed her with another baby even though He hasn’t blessed my womb, or was I going to be jealous and make the experience miserable for myself? Everyone one there was going to make it about my friend, was I going to or was I going to moan and groan about losing my three babies?

I am happy to report that I was able to enjoy the baby shower with full happiness and joy for my friend. She is such an inspiration of how to be gracious and beautiful. I really admire her.

So anyway, I am still not perfect but I can feel that I growing in this area of happiness in the mist of infertility. May God keep giving me the grace to keep moving forward. I want to be His hands and feet. I am His servant, and, what He wants, that I will do.

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My beautiful daughter during on of her recent nap times. I am so blessed!

 

When God Tells You to Buy a Chicken Bake

Ok so this might sound like a weird post but stay with me. My daughter and I were getting lunch at Costco and the weirdest thing happened. Normally we spilt a slice of pizza and maybe an ice cream that would come out to around $3.50. (I know I have posted about how I can make pizza cheap at home but when we go out, it is the best price for what you get.)

Any way, that isn’t the point. The point is that I was about to order my normal order, when I felt the Holy Spirit told me to get a chicken bake for me and slice of pizza for Emma. I thought it was ridiculous since that would make it over $5.00 and I was on my way home so I could have a snack then if I got hungry. Also they are high in calories and fat, but once again I heard that I needed to get a chicken bake too.

I fought it a little more, but, when I ordered guess what came out, “One combo pizza slice and a chicken bake”. I couldn’t believe it. But that is what I ordered so I paid for it and took it to our table. That was at 11:30am.

Fast forward, I then get a call from my mom saying that she was having stroke symptoms and that she needed me to get to the hospital to meet her. I tried to stay calm and find a sitter for Emma. My wonderful friend came and watched Emma and I headed off to meet my mom at the hospital.

All the way to the hospital, I prayed that God would heal my mom and that this was just a false alarm. When I got the hospital, it looked like it wasn’t a false alarm. She was barely able to talk or think straight, and I was honestly really scared. And doctors were really thinking she was about to have a stroke for might have even had one on her way to the hospital. They did some tests and we waited. All the tests were coming back clean but she was still not in the best shape. They had no idea what was wrong with her.

Then four hours in, she suddenly turned around. She was able to say a full sentence, she knew the date, and her mind was becoming clear. It was an answer to prayer.

All we needed was a clean MRI report and she would be able to be discharged. There was a long wait but she finally got it and it came back perfectly normal. So she didn’t have a stroke and the Dr. said that it looked like it was a reaction from a migraine even though my mom has never had a migraine in her life. But at least it wasn’t a stroke.

But why was that chicken bake so important? She wasn’t discharged until 7:15pm. So if I had only ate a pizza slice, I would have been starving, but, since I had that bake, I was able to survive until the next time I ate with my mom at our favorite restaurant.

God knew exactly where I was going to end up that day and knew exactly how to take care of me. I didn’t know that was going to be spending six hours in a ER room with my mom, but He did and He wanted me to be prepared. And I was thankful for it since the moment we just went through was scary and I was thankful to be prepared.

The whole episode with my mom was one that could have gone wrong but God chose to bless. This wasn’t about a chicken bake, it was about listening to God’s voice and being there for my mom. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to my mom. She is my closest friends and my biggest fan. To have seen how easy it could have been to lose her was a reality check.

So to everyone who has lost their mother, I can now imagine the pain of that loss. My mom was spared and I am grateful for that.

 

Worshipping No Matter What

I went to church last night and had a great time of worship. (Our church is on the big side so we have Saturday night and Sunday morning services.) Last week I was sitting in my seat in pain both physically and emotionally. I didn’t really want to go to church but my husband thought that we needed to so I went. I did take my latest crochet project to keep my hands busy and to keep me from crying the whole time. Any way, we went and I had to sit through a worship service praising God for His goodness and His love.

You can imagine how I must have felt at that moment. How could I say God was good and that He loved me when I was losing the third baby He had given me? All I wanted to scream was “IF You love me, then why am I hurting so bad?” I felt a stir in my heart with the feeling that God was right next me. He didn’t say anything but I knew He was there and that He would work with me.

I did end up crying for the majority of the worship service but was able to pull myself together to listen to the message which was about Jesus’ resurrection and the women finding the tomb empty. They loved Jesus so much that they were willing to risk their lives to go bless His body with oils even though there was no way that they would be able to move the stone or the flak they would get from the temple guards. Did I love Jesus that much that I would go and do something like that? Then when the angel told them that He wasn’t there but risen they went right away and told the disciples but they didn’t believe them.

Which would I be? The women who believed what the angels said or the disciples who didn’t? The disciples were still mourning and hiding to be honest. They didn’t know what was next for them. Their Jesus was gone and that was all they knew. But Peter and John believed the women and went to look for themselves. (I thought it was funny that our Pastor pointed out that John wrote in John that Peter was slow and he won the race.) Then they believed.

The point is that I had a choice right there. Was I going to believe that God has his best out for me or was I going to believe that He was putting me through this just because He could?

At the end of the service, our Pastor, Lance Hahn, wanted to do a prayer over anyone in the congregation that felt like they needed something to be completed in their lives by God. That we felt God doing something in us but we needed Him to finish it. Of course I didn’t want to stand up but my husband pulled me up and we stood there and let our Pastor pray. We both want an answer when it comes to our wanting another baby and we want God let us know whether or not His work is already completed with us just having Emma or that we will have more children.

I went the rest of the week trying to make worshipping and praying a thing that was more dominate in my daily life. I still had those feelings that God had let me down and was torturing me but I refused to believe them. Slowly they started getting smaller. And, after my full week of bleeding was done, it was right back to church. This time, I was able to actually stand and worship. I still needed to hold my husband’s hand, and I cried the whole time, but I was worshipping the Lord and not letting Satan’s lies win.

It still hurts but with God on my side I know we will work through this time in our lives. We may always be a family of three but I am OK with that because I have my Jesus and He loves me, this I know.

A Special Prayer for Everyone!

I can’t believe it but this is my 100th post! I didn’t know I had so much to say. Wow so this post will be special because you will get to see my new products I have out right now but also I have a special prayer I want to give out. I have been so blessed by so many people with one of my last posts If Paul Was Yoda that I want to make sure I not only receive but I also give.

First though for the fun part and that is shopping! I had to laugh at myself since my mountain right now is infertility and the foundation to my product line at Handi Works of Grace is baby blankets. So I may not be able to have a baby right now but I guess it is still in my mind somewhere to want to bless other babies with nice, cuddly blankets. I have a couple to choose from.

There’s my Pink Minky Blanket

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My Blue Monkeys Minky Blanket

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And my Neutral Gender Minky Blanket

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These also come in all sorts of other patterns so check it out 🙂

I also have a Crochet Rug out that comes in whatever colors you want.

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And finally, just for a little more fun, A Pom Pom Book Mark.

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There’s what’s new in my Etsy Shop, now on to the prayer over my readers.

“Dear Lord, Thank you so much for my wonderful readers. They are such special people and they have allowed me into their lives through this blog. I wouldn’t have a blog if it wasn’t for them. I just pray, Lord, that you will bless them in everything they do and everything they seek out to do. Bless their families and bless their area of employment. That they will feel Your hand over them everyday as they go about doing their everyday things.

If they are stay at home mommies, I pray for a blessing over their little ones as they grown and mature into good people who will serve You with their actions as well. What they do is some important even though most days it feels like it is the lowest job there is.

You are the creator of all things, Lord and without You there is nothing. Help us not to lose track of what’s important especially during our dark moments. Show Your light to us that we might see the right path to go down. Build up Your people, Lord, so we could do great things for Your kingdom. Make us strong and not ashamed. Help us when we are weak to stand firm and never forget Your sacrifice on the cross.

I pray all these things in Jesus’ name,

Amen.”

I hope that little prayer will brighten your day. I still have a lot to learn about prayer and the right way to do it, but I guess there isn’t a right way or a wrong way. As long as it is between me and God there is no way to do it wrong.

So Thank you for reading post #100 with me and I will see you next time 🙂

 

 

Thinking of Others

I had something interesting happen to me the other day. I had one of my singing videos trolled. The comment was too obscene for me to even mention what the commenter said on my blog post. I wanted to fight back right away but then was advised not to since that would probably only cause more problems. So I thought about it and try to figure out a way to to get back at them in a way but also to still show the love of Jesus.

So I made a praying video for them! Now I know this might sound stupid and I’m probably can get more ridicul and flack for it than I really desire or want to have but I thought that was the best way to go. I told you before in my blog post My War Room this year my New Years resolution was to pray more and to be more prayer minded. So now I have begun. You can watch the video below. Feel free to comment as long as it is constructive criticism and is actually relevant to the video.

I will warn you I am do not have technically the spiritual gift of praying out loud so it’s not as nice and clean as some of your pastors may pray or your group leaders might pray but it is the best I can do so enjoy, comment, like, subscribe and I will see you next time! 🙂

Prayer For Trolls

My War Room

Like of the Christian population in America, my husband and I recently watched War Room. It was awesome! The acting was great and the directing was great. I really enjoy the movies by the  Kendrick brothers. It was exra great for me because prayer is my “new years resolution” so to speak. I choose a word that will be the center of my year and this year it is prayer.

Now I know that many people think that prayer is silly and doesn’t work. They believe that God doesn’t hear their prayers so there is no point in trying. They could not be more wrong. I have witnessed prayer working in many areas in the last few years in my life that I know that it works. The problem is that my prayer life is so lukewarm that it is just not good.

Growing up in the church I have one of those talking to God all day types of prayer lives. Now those are great but what I realized what was missing was that deep relationship connection with God. The type where you go before Him and bare your soul and when you are done you feel like He is sitting right next to you. That is the kind prayer life I want.

So what did I do? First I made special place to pray – my war corner I call it. I don’t have a spare closet so I had to make it out of a little corner in my living room. It’s pretty simple but it’s cozy and intimate to be with God which is the whole point. (Also it was all purchased at a thrift store and only cost $13 to make which made my wallet happy.) Then I got the notebook I had near by and wrote out prayers for my husband, daughter and myself. These little prayers are just reminders for me to keep on track when I pray. Then I prayed and it wasn’t easy. Ten minutes seemed forever but at the end I felt closer to  God than when I started. My goal was accomplished.

My prayer corner is simple but I love it. If you want to know how I made it, leave a comment 🙂

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Ready to pray!

 

Praying For Paris

What happened yesterday in Paris was horrible. It proved that it is not just America the Muslim faith hates, it is everyone. Of course what I’m nervous about is how close we are to WWIII.

It is stated in Revelation about a war that there will be a war that will start along the river Euphrates starting at the source and working its way to the end that will kill one third of man kind. End Time Ministries has a whole series on this in the DVDs “Islam in the Bible” and “WWIII”. Here is their article on Paris. But there is so much more that we need to look at.

What is really going to happen? God says there will be a war that will kill one third of man kind and, the way Irvin Baxter explains it, that right now is about 2.2 billion people with our current population. That’s alot of people! How is that even possible? Of course I suggest you either listen into his TV program or buy the DVD but I’ll give you a hint – nucar warfare.

We all keep hearing about how Iran has nukes but they are denying it and our President is a secret Muslim so he won’t do anything about it. Or he would already. We in America have nukes for sure so what is it going to take to finally spark this war that now with this attack on Paris is only bound to happen? Will it be an attack on NATO? Will it be another attack on the US? I don’t know.

This much I do know. It is coming and it is going to be bad. It will the war of all wars and after that the anti-christ will be revealed. The the worst part of it will start then for Jews and Christians alike. Because with the anti-christ comes the tribulation.

I won’t get into the whole post mid or pre trib thing because overall that doesn’t matter as much as knowing Jesus does. The only thing that it not being pre trib rapture is are we ready to actually stand up for what we believe in when we stuck with the choice to recant or die? I hope it doesn’t happen. But it might. we don’t know the full plan.

The end is coming I hate to say but there is hope. These true signs of the end times should bring Christians hope that Jesus is coming soon. It may still be decades away but He is still coming. Islam is trying to whipe out His name but they will fail. They will be the reason for WWIII and they will knocked down to nothing or almost nothing. A great DVD is the one about the four riders from End Time Ministries as well. The whole series is good really. It explains Revelation in a way that makes sense and he has proof to back up everything he says with history.

Becuase we have to be ready. We as Christians are running out of time to be passive. We need to be active and willing to stand up for our faith. Because one day we will have too. The day is coming. Are you ready?