My last post was one that was really from my heart and my goal with it was to touch someone who is in the same boat as me. I wanted them to see that they are not alone but that God is still good in the end with everything. Well this post isn’t like that one. Not that God isn’t good still but rather this post is about my child I have on earth and not the ones I don’t have.
As you know, I have this bombshell of a daughter and she is the world to me. She doesn’t get the title of bombshell for nothing. She is beautiful and smart and will knock the socks off an elephant with her drive and her will. None of which is bad but keeping it focused in the right direction is really hard. I have tried certain things that people have suggested but I was still left with this wonderful child who is screaming (sometimes literally) at me to lead her and raise her in the way that God desires. What I was trying wasn’t working.
The problem with it though is that I have no idea what I am doing half the time. As a young first time mom, I am still trying to figure out all the do’s and don’ts when it comes to raising a child in this day and age. This thing called discipline in one that has been become so confusing that I have often missed a great training opportunity because society has made doing the “old fashion way” of parenting really hard. And the crazy part is that my two year old figured it out! She knows that she wouldn’t be taken behind the shed or put on a time out in public since I really can’t do any of my tools in public other than just let her sit there in the store and have a tantrum over not getting that piece of candy. (Please understand that I have an awesome daughter and I know that. I am talking about those moments when children have those episodes they do at times. Most of the time I can take her any where and she fine.)
That was until I went seminar from the National Center of Biblical Parenting, and introduced to me the heart way of raising children. My daughter isn’t a bad kid but she is a kid whose heart needs to led in the right way to have her grow into a confident adult. The ultimate goal as a Christian parent is to bring my daughter to the feet of Christ and have her accept Him as her Lord and Savior. So I picked up their book Parenting is Heart Work and have had a hard time putting it down. I haven’t made it very far to know exactly how to help change my daughter’s heart yet but so far the book has been great as explaining what it means to be a heart based parent instead of just a behavior modification based parent.
So I will continue reading and let you know how things go with my daughter, but there was one huge thing that I learned with reading this book. The reason I think the book is written the way it is because us parents need to look in the mirror and get our act together in order to be able to parent our children properly. I am reading going “when do we get about my child?” But really it is touching my heart. My daughter has a thing with anger so I need to ask myself how to I react when she has done something wrong? Is my heart in the right place to be that leader and example she needs? So the title is fitting in two ways. You can’t give what you don’t have.
I can’t wait to keep reading. I think I finally found the answer I have been waiting for in order to turn my daughter off the track I can see her going down. She might be only two but with something like anger only gets bigger as they do. If I can help her now with it and help myself with it just imagine what life will be like when she gets older. Imagine the work God could do through her if something like this doesn’t get a chance to really take root in her as a child. I am so excited to get started.
Do you have a child that you have tried you feel like everything but nothing has worked? Why not give this one a try and let me know how your results are? We can start our own little support group because parenting isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing that we can do but it is the most rewarding thing we could ever do.
So until next time, keep your head up and keep looking up. His grace is sufficient in all things.
So we have been in our new house for two weeks and we have a funny story. So after a couple days we had our internet provider appointment and he came out to find that the cable to the house was bad and it needed to be replaced. He said the request would take up to seven days to be completed and then someone would be out the following week to hook us up.
Well a week went by and we didn’t know if the work had been done. So we called the number we were given by the installer. He didn’t return our calls for a couple of days and then came out of find out the work had been done the next day after the installer put in the work order. So we had been sitting waiting just to be hooked up and didn’t know it. The guy came out the next day and hooked us up which was greatly appreciated.
Ok, so maybe to some people that isn’t a funny story but with how the past few months have been, it wasn’t a huge surprise. But I learned something being disconnected from the rest of the world – I didn’t really miss it. Of course being that this blog, my books and my Etsy Shop are online run makes not having internet tricky, but overall I didn’t miss it much. I didn’t have the distractions that internet provides at my fingertips.
My house was quieter, we played with our daughter more, and my husband and I got to have some nice nights just talking. I could see us starting some “Unplug Days” in the future to make sure we are staying in touch with what is important. Being in the middle of pointless arguments on Facebook and Twitter is not the place to be. Playing with your kids, hanging out with family and friends, and being a part of a community is what really matters.
As a parent, there are those times where you really need a break and it seems like those are the days that your child is the worst to be around. Think I am crazy? If you are a parent, you know what I am talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter. I wouldn’t trade her for all the yarn in the world but there are times where we need a break from each other. This weekend is one of those weekends.
Why do you say? Because our living situation has been such that she and I are around each other all the time with no male support to go with it. Where is my husband? Due to some things with our past rental and waiting for our house to close… Oh and we have only one car, he has been living with a very gracious co-worker and I have been living with my parents. Now, my parents have been a BIG help but it is different not having my husband around to be my daughter’s strong male figure. She loves her grandpa and he adores her but there isn’t the same level of respect as there is with her father. I don’t get why I can tell her one thing ten times and she still ignores me but her father says it once and she listens. Annoys the heck out of me but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So when we are together on the weekends as a family my husband has been really trying to step up an help since he knows that I am doing the parent thing on my own. Like right now, I am getting to blog for the first time in days because he has taken her to the park. My lack of blogging is not because I don’t have anything to say but rather I have chasing a two year old around trying to keep her from hurting herself. Some day I hope she finally gets that there such a thing called gravity.
In conclusion, I really do love my husband and miss him while he gone during the week. It makes me appreciate those who do this all the time and not just for a couple months. I don’t know how you do it to be honest. I am at my wits end most days dealing with all the stress I have been going through and raising my daughter. Soon though we will get to be together as a family again under the same roof. 25 Days and we get to move into our new house 🙂
I can’t believe it, my little girl is taking swim lessons and she is the perfect little guppy. She isn’t all the way swimming on her own but she will be soon. Until then, we have to help keep her afloat. Man how do I feel God having to do that with me sometimes… ok all the time.
Yes, I am swimming in the pool of life and, without His hand holding me, I would drown. I am trying to swim on my own but it isn’t possible. I need God’s hand to be there to catch me when I swallow water of have it go up my nose and I panic. He is the one that sweeps me up in His arms and says “Nice try. Let’s try again”.
Man all I can do is applaud single parents. The longest I have ever had to watch my daughter without my husband present was four days while he was at a work conference. But now I have beat my record. My husband and I have had to live in separate locations for three weeks now and I have to say it is really tough. I won’t go into why we haven’t been able to be in the same place but I will say it has to do with our rental. The why isn’t important it is the fact that I have been a single parent for three weeks that this post is about.
I always knew that being a single parent was hard but this little taste has given me a whole new admiration for them. How they raise their children without losing their minds, I will never know. I miss my husband so much on a daily basis because everything depends on me. I mean as a stay at home mom I am used to having most of the stuff fall on my shoulders but I always knew that my husband would be home at 5:00pm to help me out. I would be able to finish the day with my partner. Well these few weeks have really been stretching me. I still have dishes on the counter and it is 9:00pm and they will probably stay there until tomorrow. I am not Super Woman and I don’t like to pretend I am. But it makes me think how single parents do it. They seem like super heroes to me.
So if you are a single parent I really admire you. Keep up the good work and know that it will all be worth it in the end. I do have to say though that I will be glad when this season of my husband and I being a part is over. I miss him so much.
There is so much going on in my life right that I can’t explain it all. It would be another book in itself. Not all of it is bad. Actually a lot of it is great but it is still busy. And there is nothing wrong with that in itself but what it can do is make so I am only looking at myself. I forget to look at those around me and frankly care about how their day is going. I was reminded today by a sweet couple who just had their first baby but she came too early and has to be kept in the NICU. They can only see her through the incubator and can only hold her for short periods right now.
Whenever I read their updates, my heart is put into check at what really matters. It isn’t where I live or what I have that matters. I have learned that all can be lost in the blink of an eye. What does matter is that my family is safe and healthy. I have a great support system and great God to back me up. Life might not be perfect but it can always be more challenging. So I will praise God in the storm and look forward to the brief calm at the end.
My last post was about my last asthma attack but that wasn’t the end of the story. I went home and tried to treat it myself again. I did my best but I ended back in ER on Wednesday. This time I got a couple breathing treatments and was sent back home.
Nothing was helping and Friday morning I was back in the ER and admitted by the afternoon because I have pneumonia and I needed IV treatments with steroids and antibiotics. So I’m here watching Animal Planet and trying to get better.
What keeps happening is that I can get my lungs to a certain point and then they won’t open up anymore. So I’m working on it and have a great prayer support team so I am going to be OK. It’s what I’m learning spiritually is what is surprising.
I normally go into these things with a woe is thing but I haven’t yet. I’m at peace actually. I know God’s got me in His hands and I’m sitting on His lap with my head buried in His chest. I just need to relax and get better 🙂
You know those days when are a mom when you feel like you are going crazy? Yeah, I have them too. I hate to admit it but I feel bipolar most days with this task of parenting. One minute I am at a high and the next I want to go a curl up in a corner. Is there such thing as balance in parenting? I keep being told there is.
Where is it? I want to show my daughter the love of Jesus in everything I do which is totally possible when she is being good like finally going pee pee in the potty after a week of training, but, when she had just dumped a whole back of sunflower seeds on the floor when told not to touch them, it’s really hard to show Jesus sometimes. Does that make me a bad parent? I don’t think so. I think that just makes me normal really.
I like to think that even Mary had to roll her eyes a few times when raising Jesus. Think about it. He was the Son of God who never sinned. Wouldn’t that mean He was the perfect child? Did He ever fight with His siblings or knew exactly how to potty train? He must have never had his parents raise their voices at Him because He had to have always honored them. They literally had the perfect kid. Imagine their surprise when their next kid came along and they really got thrown into the world of parenting. They probably thought something was wrong with the kid. Why won’t he stop crying? Don’t hit your brother! Pee in the basket (or whatever they used)! Why can’t we be more like Jesus?
Talk about being truly bipolar. They probably thought they had this parenting thing down (now mind you Jesus ran off at 12 years old but still He did it without dishonoring them). That’s actually how I feel most people are. My parents have this saying “You are the perfect parent until you become one”. And it is so true. I thought I knew exactly how I was going to raise Emma and I think I am on plan Q. The truth is that parenting is rather confusing and frustrating and wonderful all the same time. Here are my tips on keeping myself sane and maybe they will help you too.
Pray without ceasing
Pray without ceasing
Pray without ceasing
God’s grace is sufficient
Sorry if that isn’t as clear cut as you would have hoped. I really don’t know much more than that right now. Now if it was an infant, then I could actually give you advice, but with the stage my daughter is in right now, I am figuring it out as I go. I know it is all worth it and someday I will see the fruits of my labor. Until then, all I can do is love my daughter unconditionally like Jesus loves me. That I know I can do.
So for all you moms out there who feel like they are going insane and nothing is going right with your kids, take heart. Your hard work is paying off even if you don’t see it. How do I know? Because, when my daughter goes out, I hear nothing but compliments I know I must be doing something right. It’s for that moment when the care giver says “your child is so pleasant to be around” that I know all the tantrums and power plays are worth it. She is turning out to be a decent person even if I feel like I might lose my mind some days.
I can’t believe that my little girl is 2! Where has the time gone? I know in the moment it has felt like it would take forever for her to get to two years old, but, now that it’s here, I am amazed at how fast it has gone. She is such a joy in my life. I can’t stand going a day without seeing her face or hearing her laugh. She is an amazing person and I can’t wait to see that her future holds.
So I have a little prayer from my daughter for this year. I think we all need more prayer and I want to start with my daughter.
Thank you for giving me Emma. She is such a precious and trying gift from You, Lord. She has helped me grow in so many ways. I have learned so much about myself more than her in these past two years than I could ever imagine. I couldn’t imagine my life without her, Lord.
I pray that you give her blessings and wisdom as she gets older. She may be only two but she can still do great things for Your kingdom at her young age. She is Your creation and I pray that she will come to know You quickly as her Creator and Savior.
I have learned a lot since becoming a parent. I have learned that there is more to raising a child than just making silly noises and playing games. There’s a lot of responsibility in keeping someone else alive everyday, but she’s taught me something else. She has shown me how selfish I am.
I always knew other people were selfish but I never knew how selfish I was until I had my daughter. I’m so selfish with my time and resources that it makes me so sad sometimes. Here she is just being a kid and most of the time I would rather her go and play by herself so I can get my stuff done that I want to do. How selfish is that?
So I am being worked on in that area of my life and maybe someday it will be worked out. You can’t be a good parent and be selfish at the same time. It like a pirate with treasure and his rum while falling off a cliff. He can try to hang onto both but he can’t pull himself up. He has to let go of one of them. One will bring pleasure now but it quickly fading and the other is heavier but it will bring him the most joy in the long run. I was the pirate, I would ditch the rum and keep the treasure.
Because, in the long run, my greatest treasure is my daughter and God has given her to me to raise the way He wants. I can’t do that if I don’t give her the time and attention she needs. My projects will always be there but my daughter is only little for a short time. I would rather pull her in close and know that at least one thing was taken care of that day – I know that my daughter came first.
So hold your kids tight. This is just but a season with them. Soon they will be out on their own and won’t need you like they do now. My daughter is 2 years old in two weeks and I can’t believe how fast she has grown up. I don’t want to miss her childhood.