Has Woman’s Rights Helped All Women?

If you clicked on this post I assume that you found the title interesting and you already have your opinion. Do you say “Yes! Woman’s Right has made life better” or “No! It has made life harder”? What area of Woman’s Rights am I talking about? Did that question pop into your head? Do you think that I am talking about voting, pay, or economic standing? Well I think I will surprise you if you can hang in with me.

I would say that no Woman’s Rights haven’t helped ALL women. I love being able to vote so I am not talking about that. I appreciate being able to go school and college so I and not talking about that. I love I can go and get a job, but that is what I am talking about. Has women going into the work really helped women in the long run?

I’ll just let you think about your opinion for a moment but I suggest you hear me out and keep reading.

I am a very motivated woman who is studying to be a teacher. I have a 4.0 GPA and believe in working hard for what you want out of life. But there is one thing that makes me crazy and that is the fact that a single woman or a married woman cannot thrive anymore on one income. Now think about what I mean.

I know many single women who have to have roommates to help with rent, utilities and food or they would have to move back in with their parents. And someone like me I am a married woman who is having to get a career because my husband can’t support us alone on his slightly higher than average income.

According to Woman’s Rights that shouldn’t happen so why is it? It is because there is honestly only so much money to go around. Back in the 50s and prior, women stayed at home (I know all about the history¬† and I am thankful for the work of women before me so don’t go there quite yet) and their husbands were able to provide for them. Yes, women had to get married to be able to leave the family home. They had to rely on a man to provide for them. But they were able to be good house keepers, mothers and friends because they had the time to devote to that. Now days that isn’t true.

We are now in the modern age and a woman to be on her own still needs people to help. She still needs a man or roommates to help. But here is the flip side. Because more women have wanted to work that means that men can’t make as much. So the option of a woman wanting to stay at home has become a very tough thing if not impossible. It has created this atmosphere of both parents having to work to make the same amount as a man would have back in the day to provide for his family.

So no I don’t think that Woman’s Rights has helped all women. It has taken away my ability to thrive as a stay at home mom and puts us in the poverty line. It makes it so that I have to go to get an official career that makes more than minimum wage so that I can make a profit after paying for child care. It has made it so that my daughter will have to go to school for her younger years because I need the school to watch her while I am at work. It has messed the equilibrium up and we are no better off now than we were back in the 50s with the exceptions of voting, education and job opportunity.

So now that you have read this whole article what is your opinion? Do you agree or do you not? I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter in the comments as long as they respect both sides of the argument.

Have a wonderful day and I will see you next time ūüôā

What to Do When You are Stuck?

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¬† ¬† ¬† Have you ever felt stuck before? I have. It’s not a fun feeling. You see what you want or where you want o go but your feet are cemented to the ground. You can’t move no matter how hard you try. It’s called a holding pattern in some groups. To me, it’s called torture. I have been working for some time to unstuck, but there is one thing that has me where I am. It isn’t God’s timing for me to move. He wants me right where He has me no matter how much I was to protest.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† How can I so easily say that? Because I have found that no matter how I try to make something happen, if it’s not what God wants, it’s not going to happen. Sometimes being stuck is just God saying “no” yet we persist to actually be running into a wall instead of not moving at all. To me that is worse since I don’t like be hurt and bruised due to my own will.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† I can recall a time where this happened though so don’t think you are alone. My husband and I have been wanting to move to a better state for many years now (we live in California and you can see why we want to leave), but the doors have never opened. Even though we think that we should have been able to move years ago, God set out His answer of “no”. I hated it since I hate many things that go on in the state I live. I wanted to move some where that agreed with at least the majority of the laws and the government had brains. But whatever. I tried to push my way through with my husband putting out over fifty applications to many states trying to find a job so we could move.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†After doing that for about six months, I gave up. Said “God, I guess we are not moving, so there”. I then went on my merry way as long as I didn’t watch the news or paid attention to the things that were being passed by the California legislators.

        Then we tried again and the answer was still no and I was getting really annoyed. But I just kept going with it since God had opened other doors in California for us. That was when this hurricane season hit. The main area we were trying to move to was Houston Texas. I wanted to move there so bad because, for the price of our house, we could practically buy wherever we wanted in Houston. It would have solved all our problems. Or would it? The area we were looking has now been destroyed and damaged by the hurricane. That would have been us swimming to safety from the home that we would have fought God so hard for. It would have been a disaster.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† So if I kept ramming the wall to move out of state, I probably would have made it, but would it have really been the answer? Yes, I am not a fan of the politics in California but at least my house wasn’t flooded and we didn’t lose everything. I still have my family nearby and we would have been on our own if we had moved. It wasn’t God’s best for us, and I am thankful for that.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†I guess what I am trying to say is that, if you feel stuck, it actually is for your best. It means that you can go a hurt yourself worse. It is a way that God can protect you just like a parent grabs their kid’s arm so they won’t run into the street. All you see as God’s child is the toy or park you want to go play with on the other side but God as your good Father sees the cars and the dangers around you. It is His job to protect His kids and sometimes we are not going to like the answer He gives us. I know I don’t sometimes, but when I look back, I can see it was for my good.

          So my prayer is that you will look around and see what God might be protecting you from. And, when the time is right, everything you are desiring will fall into place.

 

Finding Time to Write – An Author’s Confession

¬† ¬† ¬†It seems like there is a bunch of craziness flying around in our every day lives. I hardly have time to put makeup on in the morning let alone carve out time for myself. But, as a writer, there is one problem when you don’t find the time to write. You literally start to feel your head hurt from all the ideas in your head.

¬† ¬† ¬†I went a month without writing because I started a teaching credential and there just wasn’t much time for anything else. But then the ideas for my current novel just kept replaying and building up until I literally couldn’t sleep well at night. I knew what would cure me, but I wanted to get as much school work done as possible. Writing wasn’t paying the bills like I wanted so it must not be that important.

¬† ¬† ¬†I am here to say that it’s vital for an author to live by setting time aside to write. If I don’t write, I start getting a little cranky since I have characters and voices in my head trying to get out, but I won’t let them. So the best thing for me is to sit down and write something even if it only five minutes a day. Not only is this a good habit to actually finish books, but it’s a good time to spend on you.

¬† ¬† ¬†If you are anything like me, your books go along with how your life is going, and, if you don’t let those thoughts and passions out, they will just eat you up. What do I mean? Say something bad happens to you and your character is supposed to have something happen to them that might not be in their favor. I find that having my characters go through things similar to me helps me process the world around me. So if I don’t sit down and process the bad things that happen to me, they just build and build until I explode. That is not helpful to anyone around me or myself.

     But, if I take the time to write, that happens a lot less often. So I would encourage all my writing buddies out there to put writing as a true priority when life gets busy. Because it is the way our minds work, and we we need to keep our minds sharp for all the dangers we must dodge as we trudge our way through this adventure and life as we know it. Only until we reach the diamond of success with the sword of determination will we know the victory over the our evil adversary Рthe schedule.

     Sorry. I just had to add some of my own flare in there.

      What will you write today?

5 Tips: How to Survive a Vasectomy

If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you know that we are a couple with secondary infertility due to chromosomal abnormalities to any embryo that is conceived and we decided to have my husband have a vasectomy as a permanent way to end our suffering. I am not going to lie that it was not the easiest thing for either of us to go through but it was the best thing. So I am going to tell you about our experience and some tips that we learned along the way.

First, make sure your doctor has the experience. I know the only way for a young doc to get experience is by doing but these are your balls for heaven’s sake so make sure the guy (or gal) knows what they are doing. My husband got a great doctor who was the most requested we found out, but we were just blessed to get placed with him.

For the ladies, I hate to tell you that they probably won’t let you go back with your husband. I had to wait in the lobby for an hour since I couldn’t go back with him. I hated it, but my husband said it was a good thing. He said that my mama bear side would have come out if I saw the doctor messing with his junk and searing his vans after snipping them a part. So I would suggest you just take a book and take the time to relax because, once you get home, you will have a full grown baby on your hands.

Now, my husband is not a wimp and he will tell you that this knocked him on his butt. It did hurt for the first couple of days a lot more than he thought. I have never seen him on so much pain killer, but, after we learned these tricks, things got better.

  1. Support! Guys, you need something more supportive than your boxer briefs. My husband thought it would be and he was very much wrong. A cup would work, but he realized it would be hard to ice with it on. So what we did was just bundle up a small bunch of gauze (like the size of your ball sack) and place it BEHIND your balls. That will push them forward and take the pressure off making them hang while they are very angry at you.
  2. Ice! Ice was crucial to my husband’s recovery. But he couldn’t get it himself. So make sure for the first four days that there is someone home to get the ice for your man every twenty minutes. I would give him twenty minutes on and twenty minutes off. It was tedious, but it got my husband out of bed quicker.
  3. Some kind of essential oil like lavender to help with bruising, and keeping the incision clean. Now I will say here that there is “no medical backing” behind this since it’s natural so ask your doctor first. But I used it and it helped. So do your homework on it but it’s just a tip. Everyone is different. But ladies you are going to want to get something for your man because he will hardly be able to walk to the bathroom alone let alone shower for the first four days. Then, when he was able, I had to be there to help him shower since he had to hold his balls to keep them from hanging. I’ll be honest and say that my husband couldn’t stand naked without holding his balls for about two weeks, but after day four he got pretty good and showering one handed. So something for smell is a good idea, but it doesn’t hurt if it will help his recovery too.
  4. Have the kids out of the house for the first two days. This is because you as the wife will have enough on your plate with your laid up husband and your husband doesn’t need kiddos jumping on him as soon as he gets home. Hit up friends and grandparents to take the kids. Trust me. This is the best tip. I was so tired after that first day that I did really need the second day to just relax and watch movies next to my husband in between getting him ice every twenty minutes.
  5. And finally, try to make it fun. Talk about your sex life after the vasectomy is healed and how worth it is. Because, after about one hour, your husband will be thinking he made the worst decision in his life. It will be up to you ladies to keep his eyes on the prize of being able to have all the hot sex you want without birth control. No more condoms, pills, schedules, thermometers, sponges, or the horrible pulling out at ejaculation. Until he is on his feet, he will need a reason for why he did this and it is up you ladies to do that.

So there are my tips. It might sound horrible to go through but it is so worth it. Our sex life has never been better since we got the final all clear that it was a success. We now can live our lives without the stress of losing another baby and can enjoy the perfect little one we have now. So if you are considering a vasectomy, I would say go for it. It is well worth the few days of pain and inconvenience. Because I don’t know about you but it’s way better all natural and even better when the bullets are all blank.

Hoped this helped. Have a great day! ūüôā

6 Things Never Say to Someone with Secondary Infertility

   I know that there are people out there who only have the best intentions at heart, but all it take is one misplaced word to not feel like it. How do I know? Because I was surrounded by them who thought they were helping and I had to teach them what I needed to hear and when. The topic I want to talk about is what to NOT say to a friend, or even spouse, that is going through secondary infertility.

¬† ¬†Here is what you don’t know about what’s going on in their head. They feel broken, insufficient, second class, crazy, misunderstood and FRUSTRATED. So the last thing they need right now is for you to make them feel worse even if that isn’t your intention. So here is a list of things that made my situation worse and you should avoid.

1. “You will get pregnant if you are just patient.”¬†I hated this one because my husband and I have dealt with secondary infertility for two years before he finally got a vasectomy to finally end the misery. No, if you are patient it won’t always happen. We tried and tried and tried and, you know what it got us? More heartache. If your friend has been talking about doing something permanent about their type of infertility (mine was chromosomal so the baby wouldn’t develop properly and ending in miscarriage) then NEVER, once again NEVER, say this. You might not know how long they have actually been trying. In your mind it has only been a few months that they have been public about it, but they could have been trying for a year before they announced it.

  • So what should you say instead? “I understand and I am here to listen to you.” All your friend needs to know is that someone will listen to them. I know that was what I needed the most. My doctor wouldn’t listen, and no one else believed me since I didn’t always get a positive pregnancy test, but it would have been the best thing. And if you don’t feel comfortable then listen to the best of your ability and softly suggest they find a professional to talk with. We cannot be everyone’s counselor and sometimes we shouldn’t be. So if it is too much to handle, then suggesting some help isn’t off limits.

2. “Well you have a baby, so you should be thankful.” I am going to tell you what this means – heartless! This is probably one of the most heartless things someone could say to someone who is going through secondary infertility. If you think that they are not thankful for their child, then you are out of touch. Your friend isn’t upset about not being able to have more kids because they are not thankful, but rather they are grieving the death of a dream. Do you have more than one child? If so, then why did you want more children? Shouldn’t you have just been thankful with your first child? Ridiculous right? Well this heartless saying is like a knife to the heart.

  • What should you say instead? “You have a beautiful child (or children), but I understand your natural desire to want more children.” It is 100% natural to want more kids so, when you can’t, it’s hard to accept. If you make them think their desire needs to be invalid just because they already have kids, then you are missing the point of their pain. Because they have kids already is why they are the most frustrated. They get to stare at their fertility every single day, and it is painful to wrap their heads around why they have been barred from having anymore. So don’t discount the desire or make them feel bad for wanting more kids.

3. “God has a plan.”¬†If they are religious (even if they are super strong in their beliefs), don’t throw God in there right away because frankly those going through secondary infertility are probably also having a tough time with their relationship with God. There is nothing but confusion on why He would allow this to happen to them, and there is also A LOT of anger. This was true for my husband and I and it still is a sore spot when a trigger happens. It’s something that will take years to get over. So DO NOT just throw this out there just because you have nothing else to say. It will do more harm than good.

  • What should you say instead? Honestly, feel it out. I would suggest you wait until they bring it up. Don’t be the one to bring it up first and DO NOT just throw Bible verses at them about God’s love and plan. Like I said, this might do more harm than good. God does have a plan and we cannot see it. The problem is that your friend might not be able to see past the next day let alone a year from now. So just listen and be there even if you don’t say anything and just sit there in silence while your friend processes.

4. “Pull up your boot straps and get over it. There are people out there worse off than you.” Now if you ever say this to a friend going through secondary infertility, know that I am smacking you over the head right now. When was the last time you got some terrible news and needed time to process? How would you have felt if someone had just come in and told you to pretty much stop caring about your loss and get over it? You might be in a really good spot right now, but your friend isn’t. They need to be validated and understood. Not told to just get over it because they can’t and in some ways they never will. Really, when you are told you can’t have anymore children, you don’t get over it completely. Instead you just get really good at faking it. What you, as the friend, don’t see is your friend’s heart over the years crumble a little bit more every time someone else announces they are pregnant or simply see a cute baby in the market and the mother is doing nothing but complaining about motherhood. Your friend would take that baby in a minute if they could because they know the pain of not having one.

  • What should you say instead? “Take as long as you need. I know this is a really hard thing, and I am here with you.” If your friend knows there is going to be someone there who knows their story and is there for them they will be more comfortable. Maybe talk about their triggers as time goes along and be there for them when one is triggered. They need to know that people understand this isn’t the same thing as a gold fish dying where you can just go to the pet store and buy a new one. This is a life time issue and it won’t go away. Like I said, we just get really good at faking it since we know that our family and friends don’t want to hear about it all the time. So we stop talking which isn’t good either, but we don’t want to always be miserable to be around. If your friend is starting to close up, then this is where I would really suggest they get help from a professional.

5. “If you just relax it will happen just like it did for me.” NEVER, I say NEVER, compare your story with your friend’s. I understand that our personal story is where we get our experience, but every story is different. If you dealt with infertility and things worked out for you then great, but that doesn’t mean it will work out for your friend. Also your friend doesn’t need you smearing your success in their face. I know that isn’t what you are thinking when you say this, but it’s not a thing of encouragement.

  • What should you say instead? NOTHING. Nothing about your story unless it is completely relevant to your friend. What do I mean? The same. You can try to be encouraging, but it doesn’t always come across as encouragement. So when in doubt, say nothing.

6. “This too shall pass.” This is not true. The pain might fade to a dull ache, but that ache will be there forever especially with having kids first. If external triggers aren’t hard enough, there are the internal triggers as well. Nothing hurts worse than seeing your three year old rocking her baby doll and tell you she is putting her baby sister to bed. Talk about a shot in the heart. It is hard enough having to deal with others outside the home, but when the other kid(s) start asking for a sibling and you know you can’t give them one then there is nothing to make that pain go away.

  • What should you say instead? “It will always hurt, but it will get easier each day.” I know this sounds counter productive but it does help. Why? Look at the first part. You validate their pain and the second part is the encouragement they need. Because it is a day by day process, and there is no way to speed up the process.

¬† ¬†So there you have it. What not to say and what to say to your friend who is going through secondary infertility. It’s a painful process that will probably last a life time so please be patient and just be there for them. Be their hero and their support as they try to move forward and learn what their new life is going to be. Things will get easier for them, but it is going to take some time.

A Strong Couple Jokes Together

Ok, so I know that April Fools is like ancient history this year but I finally got my chance to pull one on my husband. See, my husband is deathly afraid of bees and I have always wanted to get a bee hive. Can anyone see the issue with that? Yeah, I will never get a bee hive unless we have like a million acres and the bees are in the next county. Anyway, I saw it and I just had to go for it.

Costco was selling these starter bee hive kits and that’s where I got the idea. I called up my husband truly excited about this project even though I could hardly hold a straight face.¬†Here is how the conversation went.

Me: “Hey Babe, I am so excited about your Father’s Day gift that I just had to tell you.”

Hubby: “Cool, what?”

Me: “Costco had these awesome bee hive kits for under $300 and I just had to get you one!”

Hubby: “Wh.. Wh.. Um. What?”

Me: “Isn’t that great?”

Hubby: “Uh, no. Please tell me you are joking.”

Me: “No, I really bought you a bee hive. All we have to do is buy the bees. We will have our own honey, and help the environment too!”

Hubby: Silence. “Um…” (He was trying to be supportive)

Me: “Gotcha! Happy belated April Fools day!”

He didn’t even have to say anything. I could feel the relief going through him on the phone.

You see, I have the most supportive hubby in the world and he will make almost anything work for me because he loves me. the one thing that I don’t think he will ever get past is his fear of bees. So, like I said, I ¬†will have to probably always buy my honey but I did get a good giggle out of being about to finally pull a joke on my hubby.

What are some jokes you have pulled over on your husband or wife? I would love to hear them so leave a comment below with your funny joke, and I look forward to reading them.

With PCOS I Feel Like a Broken Car

Sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I think I know where I am going in life and then a curve ball comes my way. Then I go in a different direction and then another curve ball comes my way. I know that is just life, but it can be rather frustrating.

I try to listen to God’s will, but so many times I have no idea what that is. I think I do but then I don’t. You know what I mean? I think I am content where I am then something happens and I am back to square one. It then takes weeks for me to get back to where I was content because I have to grieve all over again.

I am reminded on a daily basis that I want another baby an can’t. I thought that I pregnant again even though my husband was supposed to get a vasectomy in the following two weeks. Since I thought I was pregnant we cancelled it, and now I am regretting that since we have to wait two more months for him to get it.

Where the frustration came in was that I was so happy with our decision and that we were moving forward. Now I feel like I have gone three steps back. Back to where I was when I lost my last baby. I was so angry with God then and I am back to being just as frustrated with Him now. I am trying to be content even in the fresh pain of that wound being reopened, but it’s hard. It is so hard to say God is good when I feel like He is being cruel for leading me on.

So we are back to square one with the whole baby thing and my husband has rescheduled his vasectomy, and I have to remember what hope is. It’s still good to hope even after your heart has been hurt again. That’s what Jesus would want.

He isn’t trying to be cruel because He isn’t that way. We live in a broken world with broken bodies. My body for some reason doesn’t do what it’s supposed to and I will never understand why. I am like a car with an engine, gas, and fresh battery, but it still won’t start. I have tried and tried but it still won’t change.

What I am going to do then? figure out a new way to get around. Maybe in this case my husband’s vasectomy is like changing the gas out for solar and now I will be able to move since I no longer have that one area in my life holding me back. It’s a good thing some times to change things up to be content. I can’t have a baby so we are getting a dog. We don’t want to go through this pain anymore so we are having my husband get a vasectomy. I want to have something to fulfill my life more than just being a mom and wife so I am going back to school. There is so many options for couples who have some that ultimate cross road of whether or not to keep trying.

But I know that I am not a broken car. I am really not broken at all. I am not a fan of it since I have always this – I am different. I am created differently than others because I don’t have the same path as everyone. It might feel like I am broken when I see other women sporting their baby bumps but ¬†I have to try to keep at the forefront of my mind that I am made for something different, I have a wonderful husband, and a miracle baby who is playing with her dolls right now. My life is good and my life is full.

Making Something Out of Something Else

Hello. If you clicked on this post just because of the funny title, then awesome! It could mean lots of things. Maybe you’re a crafter and was looking for some new ideas to use, or maybe you were just curious at what a nutty blogger like me is up to. Either way, I am glad you clicked because I am still going to talk about making something out of something else but it might not be what you think.

I am going to be talking about parodies. I have one out right now on Youtube¬†SEE IT HERE¬†and it’s a remix on Let It Go From Frozen.

I have this thing with songs and making them into something else, and especially right now with Disney songs being turned into praise songs.

Where did I get this idea? I originally got the idea when I was listening to Michael W. Smith’s song Freedom and wrote my first parody then. But with a song like Freedom I need the music and I sing acapella¬†so that wouldn’t work to put it on Youtube right now. But I do have a few more coming out in the next few weeks for Mulan’s “Reflection” and Lion King Simba’s Pride’s “He Lives in You”.

Why even bother though right? The songs are already written so there isn’t anything else to do with them. Well, how I see it is that there is always something new to be found in anything old. Many songs can be changed into a praise song if only a few lines are twisted and changed, but they can still used to praise Jesus. I wanted to be apart of something I thought to be cool. I can write words, but never get me in front of a piano. I will drive everyone out. So parodies are my way to be able to make music without having to touch an instrument.¬†Though it is kind of funny to say that since I don’t sing with any music.

But I want to be clear that I don’t own any of the tunes. If Disney came to me tomorrow telling me to take them down I would, but the words are mine. They are what I am feeling God would want me to say instead of what the original creators were saying for that particular movie. And it’s fun. You get to challenge yourself to be creative and explore new options that might have first presented itself. I know I rewrote my parody “I Am Yours” probably three or four times before I felt God told me I had it right.

You can use this idea all through life. It might appear that life has only offered you one path, but, if you look behind a bush or under a rock, you might find a treasure that you have never found unless you decided to go your own way (with the guidance of God of course). I just mean that just because something has been a way doesn’t mean it’s the only way, and I get to experience that with my parodies. So if you have a song that you know you could make into an awesome parody (preferably a Christian one) then go for it. Sites like Youtube make it possible now to showcase your talents in a whole new way. Be bold and put yourself out there. Who knows? You just might be the new big internet sensation.

Have a great day!

God is Good

“God is good”. Do you believe that? I have a hard time with it sometimes I will admit. It’s a topic that many will never say is true simply because they have never felt it. I can say it’s true because in the past I have felt Him. I have felt His arms around when I was hurting and crying out for acceptance and love. Then why is it so hard for me to feel at times now?

Maybe it’s because I am more grown up and more calloused with the world? Maybe I am too scared to trust anyone but myself? I don’t know but I do know that my trust relationship with God is one that always takes work on my side.

I know people say that if you trust someone that you will always trust them. I guess that I sort of true since I trust my husband 100% and my closest friends 100%, but why can’t I always trust God 100% if the time? Because I can really trust what I see. I trust my husband to come home and love me every night because he does and I can see him. I can see his face and hear his voice to know if there is something off about him, but with God I can’t see Him. I know He is there, but I so often forget to look for Him.

And when things go bad it’s even harder to trust Him. You want to believe that He is doing everything for my good, but I can see that at the moment. It might be years until I see the purpose behind the suffering I go through today. So I sit there and ask God why, when He isn’t ready to show to me what He is planning to do with me. I just have to sit and wait to maybe understand it someday.

But I just have to remember that God is always good even if it doesn’t feel like life is. He loves me even when I am crying my soul out or angry because life has thrown me another curve ball. He is good always.

 

There’s No Pleasing Christians Sometimes

Hello! I hope your day is going well for you. My day is going pretty good. Just getting a chance to sit down and do some writing about what’s going on with two movies right now and to point out that Christians are the HARDEST people to please. I mean think about it. There are two movies out (or almost out) right now: The Shack and Beauty and the Beast. Both of which have Christians up in arms.

Why? Well, for one, there is this gay scene in Beauty and the Beast I guess and The Shack is being call not well sounded theologically . Both I have to say I am shaking my head and rolling my eyes at.

I have read the book for The Shack and seen the movie. I have been hoping they would make the book into a movie for years. It’s a story that could help so many unbelievers see God in a whole new way, but they might not read a book. So when it was announced that movie was coming out, I was over joyed. Then the poop hit the fan about it.

Suddenly, Christians are boycotting their own genre in a movie because it might not 100% match what their pastor says. Let’s clear something up. All those people saying tend to have a Baptist or Southern Baptist background where God is kept in this little box and He is only able to be one way and that’s it. I went to Baptist churches for years and was so stifled by the legalism there it took me years of going to a healthy and thriving church to heal.

Now, I know I just pissed off a lot of people but I have to speak the truth. When I was in the Baptist church sect, my walk with Christ stopped. I might know a lot of things about the Bible now but there was a void missing when it comes to my relationship with God. I saw Him as something to fear and not loved by. Jesus loved me but God didn’t. I was actually very similar to the main character in The Shack.

I thought God was only out to get me and the Jesus was the only thing keeping Him back from destroying us all. And the Holy Spirit? What Holy Spirit. The time I heard about Him was when someone was getting baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. So with this movie, yes people who are in that kind of background will find nothing but issues with the movie.

But, if you believe in having an Abba relationship with God and your know that the Trinity is one person and Jesus isn’t separate from the Father the Holy Spirit isn’t just out there wandering around, then you will see the gold that is in this movie. You will see that God is almighty and He loves you just as much as Jesus because they are one in the same. You can’t have one without the other.

Ok… so why is God and woman? I want to debunk this question now and forever. The reason God is a woman is because the movie is all about relationship and God says clearly it the book and the movie the reason He appears as woman is, due to Mac’s abuse history from his father, Mac would not have receptive to God if He appeared as a fatherly figure. That’s it. Period.

Now, if you have God in this little box then that seems like blasphemy and I very much would agree with you. But in this case it makes sense. God has appeared to me in different forms throughout my life, and they have been different every time. He is the almighty God and, if He knows that a motherly figure is what you need right now, then that is how He will present Himself as. I love how no one mentions the fact that He changes into a fatherly character later – just a side note.

But, what about the He came to save everyone part? God made and loves ALL of us. Yes, Romans talks about the elect but Jesus didn’t just come to save good people. Read the Gospels, there are tons of examples of people that who wouldn’t have been judged as the right people to be saved, but Jesus welcomes them in like He does with all of His children.

God gave us free will, like in the garden with Adam and Eve, we, even after we have been saved, can walk away from Him. I did not say lose our salvation. I said walk away, and with a legalistic background, why wouldn’t you walk away? It’s hard living under legalism and you will never add up enough under that mindset. But there is freedom with Jesus, and this movie really points out that, even though we don’t think someone should be able to be saved, God still has a plan for them and He wants they redeemed.

I am glad that there is freedom in Christ because we all deserve hell. There is no denying that. So if you don’t think that there is freewill, why were you so much better at the time of your creation? And don’t you say ‘because hells needs to be filled somehow so that is why there is the elect’. Worst defense ever! For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. the whosoever believes in Him will have everlasting life. That’s John 3:16! ¬†Case closed. So for people getting upset because God loves everyone, seems like a poor excuse not to go see the movie.

Now another movie that is about to come out also has Christians upset and that is Beauty and the Beast. I want to first say that I NEVER saw this movie appropriate for anyone under thirteen. It would be WAY too scary for my daughter. Second, it’s a secular movie! If you don’t like it, don’t see, but don’t say that I am a horrible Christian if I do. Honestly, I think Christians are are showing horrible face concerning it because of the gay scene. Why? Let me explain.

IT’S NOT THE FIRST GAY CHARACTER IN A DISNEY MOVIE!!!! That felt good to finally get off my chest. No, it’s not, but for some reason now people are getting all upset about it. Do you have any of these movies in your house?

  • Cinderella
  • Pocahontas
  • Tangled
  • Anything from Sophia the First
  • The original Beauty and the Beast
  • The Lion King
  • Bambi
  • Lilo and Stich
  • The Little Mermaid
  • Frozen

These are just a few and every single one of these movies have a gay character in them, and many have multiple. But what makes this movie so different? Because there is a “moment” in it and it’s people.

First, it’s PG so the farthest they can go is a kiss. Second, it’s not a movie for kids anyway. Have you seen the preview and how dark it is? If you take four year old Lacy to see it, it wouldn’t be the gay scene that would be making me raise an eyebrow. This movie has a deeper story, scarier effects and, fine, a gay scene. Not for kids! I see it as Beauty and the Beast for adults.

Second, how are you ever going to show the love of Christ to someone if you never go to their level? Now, once again, coming from a legalistic background, you are taught to never go down to someone’s level because they will drag you down too. Not all bad, but there is a reason why there aren’t very many thriving legalistic churches and that is because they don’t out and harvest. Church is for “sick people” people who lost and need Jesus. IT is not just for preppy Christians to meet, say they made quota and go home.

You don’t have to see the movie, but somehow telling the LGBTQ community that God loves them and wants to have a relationship with them is vital. They are just lost people trying to figure life out on their own. That is it. So if we boycott and throw a fit, then where is the love?

Now, I don’t agree with the lifestyle, but I will say that I love the people. I don’t think that the movie needed these things add in particular because it had too much gayness in it back in 1991. The character is question, Lefou played by Josh Gad, was gay in the first place. But back then they were just called¬†effeminate. I challenge you to watch the animated one. It’s beyond obvious that Lefou is in love with Gaston. So to say that this is the “first Disney gay character” is bull poop. There have been many and it’s just because the blinders are being taken off that people are noticing.

If you are going to take this kind of stand against gays then you need to throw out EVERY movie that has a gay character in it. I think you will find that there aren’t many left after you do. But you need to stick to the stand you make because that is important too.

So, now we have looked at the two hot buttons for Christians and I have to ask, where do you stand? ¬†I hope that you will give The Shack a chance. I get why you might not see Beauty and the Beast, but don’t forget that the community is full of living breathing people who need the love of Jesus brought to them. Hey! Take them to see The Shack and have it soften the soil to talk about Jesus and how much He loves them.

For many that crosses too many lines and it makes me sad. I wish that Christians would stop nit picking at things and just get the love of Jesus out there. You can either bring Jesus to people with a movie that you believe is only sort of right or you can waste your salvation by sitting at home being “right” and doing nothing. I would rather bring people to Christ.

And with the Disney movie, it’s your choice, but don’t forget the love. The best way to shut someone’s heart up is if they don’t feel like they are loved, belong, or believed in. Show the LGBTQ community that Jesus loves them and reach out. It just might be the thing someone needs the most.

Love you and God bless.